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Thread: When You Look At Me

  1. November 26th, 2003, 10:55 PM #1
    LYRICALLY BLACK
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    When You Look At Me

    When you look at me what do you see
    I can guess
    A dude that packs a glock
    That stays cocked
    Ready to pop
    NOT
    I’m a regular dude
    Not a fool
    Educated
    Still hated
    People think I steel and rob
    Your hate needs to stop
    I don’t have a gun
    You don’t need to run
    I don’t have a son
    By 8 different ladies
    No raisin 8 different babies
    So no reason to even hate me
    I just want to buy a book of some sort
    To increase my vocab
    No rehab
    Not a crack attic
    Not a drug dealer
    Not a chronic stealer
    I’m smart
    Educated
    Still hated
    Poetical MC
    Not flashy and addicted to money
    When you look at me what do you see
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  2. November 26th, 2003, 11:26 PM #2
    DthsMissingAngel
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    Wow, nice piece. I like how you gave your analysis of urself. Good job of that. It seems to be a problem with everyone, ppl judge by ur appearance. They judge you, yet they dont take the time to even get to kno u. Good job with this. Keep it up.

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  3. November 26th, 2003, 11:47 PM #3
    It
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    wow
    never heard anything like this
    very unique indeed
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  4. November 28th, 2003, 01:57 AM #4
    Legendary
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    I haven't read many with such short lines but the ones I do read seem to be really good. These types seem more poetic to me. So much said in so few words. By reading this, looks like you have a talent for it.

    When I read it, I got the feeling you just sat down and wrote something out real quick. Something that got to bothering you and you wanted to vent. Might not be how it happened but whatever. I feel the same way but only the opposite. People see you as a gangster? People see me as being really innocent. I got one of those faces, you know? Annoying as hell but I got out of a few speeding tickets with it so I can't complain

    Anyways, Nice writing. Keep on posting your stuff up here.
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  5. November 28th, 2003, 03:56 AM #5
    kid donovan
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    great great great
    i loved it
    i liked the semetry of it and how u put the entry statment at the end as well
    great piece of work
    keep posting i would love to read more
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  6. November 28th, 2003, 10:50 AM #6
    LYRICALLY BLACK
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    thanks eerybody...i am glad that you can see the talent of the poem..upp
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  7. November 28th, 2003, 11:27 AM #7
    .:LadySage:.
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    This was a nice piece. Your word play was nice, and the length of the lines fit the topic and flow of the piece very well. It made me think how many people, mostly all people, judge by what they see on the outside. I think the last line gave the piece the most power. I didnt take it as you just repeating the first line in the piece, but as you wanting to see what a person see's after you just expressed the steriotyping and labeling they do before getting to know you...wanting to know what they have to think now that you made all their assumptions invalid. This was a nice read. Keep it up.
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  8. November 28th, 2003, 07:26 PM #8
    Tourniquet
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    This was really good.... I felt like I was in your head, and you had just stepped into a store, the store owner gave you a funny look, and this is what went through your mind...
    To be brutally honest, you almost lost me at the glock line, bragging about guns just doesnt float my boat... but I went a little further and was relieved to see 'NOT' .. and kept reading.. to be pleasantly surprised by a really nice read. Thanks LB.
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  9. November 28th, 2003, 07:49 PM #9
    Rhymes
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    wow...the short lines and words you mixed it with was great...great cuz it seemed to me that you said everything in a couple of words...you showed us at least me that we don't need long poems with never ending sentence were the plot is always the same....keep it up


    peace
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  10. November 29th, 2003, 12:57 AM #10
    LYRICALLY BLACK
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    thanks errybody..upp
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