RW $300 Final: Jack Hallows vs Virbius

[Bag Mandela]

It's finally here, the rematch we've been waiting for & the penultimate 1 or 2 matches of the tourney. Double elimination rules state that if Jack wins, there's a rematch. If Virb wins he takes 1st place.
.
We're going for 16 bars or 1080/12*16=1440 characters excluding spaces unless either of you wanna do more, entirely up to you. Given a bit of extra time to get your shit together. No pressure but if this battle's anything less than the most incredible shit we've ever seen everyone will be disappointed, might beat their kids and it will forever be what defines you.

Ransom Writers Final
16 bar battle
Due 10th May

@Jack Hallows @Virbius

Bag's vote, MV's vote & all other public votes are equal for the final.

Post your references so you don't get jerked, unless you like that shit.

No extensions, no friendliness and absolutely no sportsmanship.

[Jack Hallows]

damn, that intro is fucking bananas lmfao.

major hype.

Virb, let’s get it my boy

[Virbius]

@KnoXville hey Jack just tried to change it to a fucking 80 bar battle at the last minute. He’s at it again bro.

Eighty bars, I’m not even joking! What a tryhard.

[Virbius]

Hey, Unfukwitable…
I’ll put your brains on display. what was this cunt thinking?
I’ll hang him without hesitation, I’m Unf-lynching.
I’ll…

Wait, what do you mean that’s not my opponent?
Jack’s made the final??
Nah.
Nah, that can’t be right.

Fine, let me start again.
Reset my character count yo.

Hi Jack! I’m the 9/11 kind of felon and my mind’s a weapon, a sign the brains are on a higher plane.
He’s calls himself The Bladecoat Brawler and it’s quite a shame; I’ll stick a shiv in his ribs, in his midst, in his side and watch him die in pain with so many knives in Jack-it might explain why I applied the name.

Really though? this guy? in the final? I’m feeling like I won the fucking lottery, fam, what?
Cremating him, shit, this is damn hot, I’ll keep his ash in an urn. got the Jack pot.

I’m a king and he’s a peasant, it supports the theme, Virb and a subject, yeah the clause extreme;
I’m handy with the blades and it’ll cause a scene coz they so huge,Jack,man I feel like Wolverine.

Hallow wiener, nothing you write’s dreaded, my last round for you was past trash, I said it…
I felt like death last clash as I lie bedded with a fever but still you got quite shredded, ain’t like Jack’ll land tons, left this guy deaded even though I was feeling real light-headed

“You’ll get socked in the mouth like Mick Foley” - that was FaQ.
I wish you’d died in the Iraqi desert, by a Cactus Jack.
I was rooting for the Taliban in actual fact, it’d be music to my ears if they’d killed you in a planned attack.
If I saw you lying dying in an abandoned shack I’d just Say A Little Prayer and Walk On By. I’d back-Iraq

You said I had an Asus laptop? nah, remember? you came to help pick as well,
We were stood outside the store and shit was swell but then you had a flashback of Taliban battle plans, had to sit and yell when said I was going in-for-Dell

You lost to KnoXville when you were a little newer, his bars were hardly gold but that shit was pure.
Then you bought glocks, more locks, it’s a bit obscure but it’s funny since you fought Knox you still look insecure.

And you’re a cunt.



—

Explanations:

Hanging Unfuckwitable without hesitation: Unf’ lynching / unflinching.

Hi Jack / Hijack, higher plane of existence or airplane. 9/11 referencing Jack’s old enemy the Taliban.

Bladecoat Brawler, so many knives in Jack it / jacket.

Jackpot, the prize or the jar with Jack’s remains inside. Also urn / earn, if you like.

King and peasant eg. me and my royal subject. Virb / verb. A verb and a subject is a grammatical clause. Clause / claws, handy with the blades, or blades on my hands. Cause a scene - movie scene. Huge,Jack,man / Hugh Jackman who played Wolverine.

Hallow wiener / halloweener. Jack’ll land tons / Jack o lanterns. I wrote my last round with a fever, feeling light headed. A Jack o lantern has a light inside a head.

Mick Foley aka Cactus Jack.
I’d Back-Iraq / Bacharach. I’d support the Taliban (/ Iraq) over him in the war. Music to my ears as Say A Little Prayer and Walk On By were both written by Burt Bacharach.

Last round he said I had an Asus laptop. In for Dell / Infidel, what the Taliban would call Jack, so saying I was going in for Dell gave him flashbacks of the war coz he’s a little pussy with PTSD.

Gold bars, pure, Fought KnoX / Fort Knox - US gold reserve famous for being high security but he looks insecure.

And then I called him a cunt coz he’s a cunt. Easy.