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Thread: [Short Story] the boy and the fly

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    You've Earned a Custom Title! walkerblack's Avatar
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    [Short Story] the boy and the fly

    About an hour had passed and the boy was still waiting for his company to arrive. He was comfortable under the thin shade of a kapok tree and could wait another hour patiently right where he was. A fly flew through and around his legs but he did not whack it away. The fly can keep me company, he thought.

    He sat still and watched the fly buzz around a spider’s web; then finally, into it. He felt bad for the buzzing fly, but knew that if he helped it then instead a spider might die. So he left the fly as it was; stuck, and let things occur as nature would have them.

    Bored but not restless or impatient, the boy climbed high up into the kapok tree. He felt at home in the leaves and found the air up there very easy to breathe. His eyes were level with the tops of trees and winged animals and the view was beautiful. No wonder, he thought, birds sing.

    As he appreciated the landscape his friend emerged from around the bend. With the dexterous limbs of youth he swung down the kapok tree and ran and embraced his friend. The two had only been apart for about a day and a half but the boy missed her dearly. But her countenance was not as warm as the boy’s. Her face wore a smile but her smile was only worn and not felt. But in his ecstasy and naivety the boy could not have noticed and he grabbed her hand ran her toward the beach. She ran with him, her bare footmarks firmly imprinted in the ground.

    The beach was quiet except for the sound of crashing waves. The waves grew taller as they rolled and turned to tunnels then crumbled into still aggressive forces. The boy and girl sat together next to a big brown rock that protected them from the salty breeze and watched the falling sun paint the sky with its dying breath. The sun seemed sad that night. Its pallet prominently portrayed colors like indigo across the sky-canvas.

    The boy watched the girl as she watched the sun set. He noticed the way way her eyes twinkled at the sky like the stars do at the earth and her posture and the way her hair dangled from her beautiful head. When the boy wasn’t looking she noticed how his breathing moulded his body and how his broad shoulders resembled the muscular prowess of the jaguar. Soon the sky was dark except for the lovely luminous patterns of planets from far away. The girl was entranced by the patterns and wondered about the distant phosphorescent artwork that no man can create. The boy was entranced by the girl and wondered about what she wondered about.

    The long and comfortable silence was interrupted by the sweet patter of light precipitation. As if the rain was a cue to leave the boy grabbed a nearby palm for shelter and with the girl started toward their village. At the village what was once a giant fire then imaged a pillaged empire falling into itself. Smoke rose to return home to the stratus clouds and the boy and girl went to their own homes to sleep.
    The girl woke up the next morning when the air was damp and plants spotted with dew. The village was still asleep but not for long and the forest was busy with birds’ songs. She walked in the direction of the kapok tree and took a seat inside a welcoming nook where she closed her eyes and thought about the boy and his face when he had seen hers. She wondered why she could neither feel or express feelings like he did and after a while contemplating the girl concluded that she would not come to a conclusion that day. Then she went searching for herbs and plants that the healer could use and even saved some for herself.

    Suddenly a terrifying and high pitched shriek echoed throughout the forest. The girl instinctively ran towards it mobbing at a full sprint, tripping over roots ducking under branches and leaping through leaves and over bushes. She arrived at a circular meadow, clear of trees, where she found the source of the scream. It was her friend; the boy, as he lay at the mercy of a black jaguar’s massive jagged fangs. He was still alive, his innards exposed to the external world, and he hardly moved or made a sound. A single tear traced the silent expression of agony stretched into his skin as he looked at the girl. And she was horrified. But she was also undetected by the beast…

    The girl did not hesitate as she watched the boy and carefully receded into the jungle back towards the village. From the bottom of her newly broken heart, she truly felt bad for the dying boy, but knew that if she helped him then she too might die. So he left the boy as he was; stuck, and let things occur as nature would have them.
    greetings netizens

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! walkerblack's Avatar
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    Re: [Short Story] the boy and the fly

    damn can someone at least read this tho
    greetings netizens

  3. #3
    Cypher Alumni Sammy's Avatar
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    Re: [Short Story] the boy and the fly

    Lol this is not your conventional open mic which would likely scare most away. Don't worry I gotchu on this, after work bro

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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! walkerblack's Avatar
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    Re: [Short Story] the boy and the fly

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy View Post
    Lol this is not your conventional open mic which would likely scare most away. Don't worry I gotchu on this, after work bro
    < 3
    greetings netizens

  5. #5
    Cypher Alumni Sammy's Avatar
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    Re: [Short Story] the boy and the fly

    great story, Walker. It definitely has that trademark callback that u seem to do so well in your pieces. As the story unfolds, we see two very similar anecdote with very similar ideas. T

    he former anecdote told of the boy and his lack of action in fear of disturbing nature at work. A similar instance occurred as the girl observed the boy being eaten by a jaguar - but her lack of action was summed up in fear for one self. Now is there a parallel here? what is ultimately being observed here? karma? I'm still a bit unclear. perhaps an examination on the bystander theory? i felt structurally, it was very well executed. again, the callback certainly brought a sort of emphasis on the concept you went for. I'm just unclear on what that concept is. Its a dope story actually so perhaps u can shed a bit of light on the underlying idea being conveyed.

    As far as execution, great job! awesome blend of prose and poetry, blending seamlessly and with purpose. well done.

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