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Thread: ""The Homeless""

  1. #1
    GeT CrUnK 451
    Guest

    ""The Homeless""

    How would u feel livin on the street//
    Being like a slave only guidin a beat/bein robbed/and mobbed//
    eatin each and every day like a slob/can by no food cause u aint got no job//
    Only thing u got is this blanket and cup for money//
    cant even go in the store to afford to by some honey//
    livin each and every night sleepin unda the stars//
    hearing sudden vrooms by fast passing cars//
    honks and horns and people talkin//
    dirty and sweaty and only got 2 feet for walking//
    get behind bars for stealin cars//
    come out left with non treatin/beatin scars//


    ayo peep this

  2. #2
    HazY.B
    Guest
    im just waiting for content to come in here and say
    damn you post some replies first

    then of course after you do
    i will come back and give you some critique on your poem

  3. #3
    Ajax 0042
    Guest
    agree with ^^^....

  4. #4
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Jerusalem
    Posts
    9,745
    Battle Record
    8-6
    ^freeposter ^^waste of time
    i thought the piece started off on the brink of mediocrity and i wa a little irritated to see another rapper try poetry and not be able to fulfill the varying levels of depth but this piece surprised me becasue u came thru with some strong rhymes in the second half and some good messages that need to be heard, though the "honey" line was corney the ending was very good and i liked it overall, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  5. #5
    Newbie ModestlyShi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    the darkest corners of a lil boi's mind
    Posts
    46
    Battle Record
    1-1
    ^lmao^...sorry fa the free post but i aint got shit to say on this "poem"
    Every lil boi is born shi......their ignorance makes them bold......

    simply put"...wise words whisperd to deaf ears as no one hears the blurred proverbs that're always spoken clear so i fuckin swear that my where wont be here as time tolls..." second verse of 'Elevate' written by -shi-

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