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Thread: 30 days of Jamhuri

  1. #1
    Get Touched abiona's Avatar
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    30 days of Jamhuri



    Don't forget to number your posts... and have fun!
    ArtificialIntelligence


    TNL
    ps... abi punchlines are played


  2. #2
    as ain't Jamhuri's Avatar
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    1. (Arguments)

    I love/hate relations
    -hip, isn't it?
    I'll let my lower nature lose/win today
    again. So I'll take it all in
    till my skin is thin enough to explode
    when your point touches me.

    Egos indeed soar
    above storms,
    suits scouting the skies
    for glory. For glory
    is epinephrine
    to their little, tanned, sun-soaked fists of a heart
    beating for average
    birds' recognition in envy.
    Words of affirmation
    come to me in spiteful notations and constricting
    irises.

    That you're not the same sucks
    me down to earth,

    pious, adorable you.
    Humble, you wait for your cues.
    I hope my envy affirms you too.

    I love you
    is a see-saw sentence.
    If the I loses a feather
    the you'll have too little letters
    and dates/blushes/laughs
    to keep us balanced thoughtless
    when we say
    it.

    I(We?) love/hate our relationship-
    I love to relate,
    only hate(or any other verb that sounds less irreverent to authority) that cliched, annoying, counsel-inviting, sleep-depriving, burdensome word that should be shipped off relations to let us
    breath.



    so, dear,
    I love you/I hate us.
    I've slept (and numerously [day]dreamed) with a
    hiatus from love,
    releasing my heart and putting it in a glass jar
    of organic/acid, waiting for yours,
    hoping time will bring you back
    to our old days when no one mattered but
    a promise of a future, God and us..
    But I wake up every time and bind the demons behind such
    bohemian ideas
    and continue in [our] relationship,
    less objectionably.
    Last edited by Jamhuri; April 4th, 2011 at 08:21 AM

  3. #3
    as ain't Jamhuri's Avatar
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    2. Muse almighty

    Happiness is a demon dressed
    as an angel of light;
    new-ageism, turning its back to times
    when dark knights tour souls and total depravity
    proves me wrong.
    Happiness makes me sad, sometimes.
    I was too... happy
    for you today,
    muse.
    Last edited by Jamhuri; April 5th, 2011 at 02:36 PM

  4. #4
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    Re: 1. (Arguments)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jamhuri View Post

    I love you
    is a see-saw sentence.
    If the I loses a feather
    the you'll have too little letters
    and dates/blushes/laughs
    to keep us balanced thoughtless
    when we say
    it.
    This is great. The language, the sentiment, all of it just works. Enjoyed the piece as a whole for the same reasons... well written and capturing feelings that I've yet to see put into words so effectively.

    Thanks for joining the fun!
    ArtificialIntelligence


    TNL
    ps... abi punchlines are played


  5. #5
    as ain't Jamhuri's Avatar
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    Re: 30 days of Jamhuri

    These waves are the most unpredictable
    thing. Sunshine goes up and down, like tides,
    in response to them.
    My world winds around these waves.

    I'm not mature.
    I'm a couple of broken hearts,
    years and rub-offs from people as dried up inside
    as you, away from maturity
    (If that word means not letting a single heartbeat fall
    through my sweaty palms
    when you meet your [not so] 'old' friends
    whose sweatier palms ever hit your blind-spot,
    or eyeballs explode innocently
    to everything I'm insecure about
    )

    Deep, deep in the earth
    where demons dance, disguised as lava
    seats the source of gravity;
    that waves back [and forth].
    That little god I sometimes pray to
    to never grow holds [the remote] control
    to the moon sun stars and my love for you;
    everything that controls my tides.
    the 5% of my nature.
    Love him now.

  6. #6
    as ain't Jamhuri's Avatar
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    4. rebuild, rebuild

    Before these bricks formed,
    catalyzed by chance and an atheist's faith,
    was a building.

    Before the building slowly stretched tall,
    for admiration; a place to visit before one's death
    there was nothing

    but darkness
    and flickers of light. The two related too easily
    and suddenly love felt like the sun-room
    it soon became,
    unblasphemously so, a rebuilding of the idea
    of what Babel should have been had man stayed
    upright

    (rebuild
    rebuild)

    there was soon enough light for
    lunches, and evening walks
    then time spread its sheets for us to lay
    and make concrete love.
    we made enough for a stone house
    though now a little cracked at the top
    but we can rebuild,
    rebuild

    with the bricks that've fallen
    off the top of our heads.

    No one would have thought then
    No one can think now.

    lets just rebuild,
    rebuild.
    Last edited by Jamhuri; April 10th, 2011 at 09:13 AM

  7. #7
    as ain't Jamhuri's Avatar
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    5

    'Oceans telling me 1000 stories,
    none of them are lies' - Jon Foreman
    Last edited by Jamhuri; April 11th, 2011 at 07:55 AM

  8. #8
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    Re: 30 days of Jamhuri

    Really enjoyed day 4, particularly the second half.

    I thought this was brilliant:

    there was soon enough light for
    lunches, and evening walks
    then time spread its sheets for us to lay
    and make concrete love.
    we made enough for a stone house
    though now a little cracked at the top
    but we can rebuild,
    rebuild
    The piece seemed almost like a song to me... the way the words progressed so easily. You definitely have a great talent for refined writing that still sounds fresh.
    ArtificialIntelligence


    TNL
    ps... abi punchlines are played


  9. #9
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    Re: 30 days of Jamhuri

    Really enjoyed day 4, particularly the second half.

    I thought this was brilliant:

    there was soon enough light for
    lunches, and evening walks
    then time spread its sheets for us to lay
    and make concrete love.
    we made enough for a stone house
    though now a little cracked at the top
    but we can rebuild,
    rebuild
    The piece seemed almost like a song to me... the way the words progressed so easily. You definitely have a great talent for refined writing that still sounds fresh.
    ArtificialIntelligence


    TNL
    ps... abi punchlines are played


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