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Thread: Faith

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! SenecaHaze's Avatar
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    Faith

    for real get at me

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...el-396270.html

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-396023.html



    living for no tomorrow,you feel when you've a soul thats hollow,
    body a pessimistic bottle, half empty with alcohol & sorrow,
    when altercations turn to riots with soulless shells on auto pilot
    why be violent? as my days tick away & decay i seek peace & quiet,
    to the cops im just a box, whether in the ground or equipped with locks,
    wont catch me quick as a fox, til holes in my chest like holes in my socks,
    erratic heart beats, chest on fire no sleep in the fetal position,
    clutchin ribs in submission,take me to that better place I envision
    so i imagine the sea & sand beneath me, but cant seem to reach,
    an island or the beach, all i see is hells flames, steam, & heat,
    my hair singed, where does the skin end and the burns begin,
    i seek aid in jesus but i appear two faced can i turn to him?
    fate is inevitable,when wrong is right,so what is ethical?
    "the darkness will envelop you" as you end up the devil's fool,
    at the apocalypse standing on the edge of the abyss,
    with wind flowing through my limbs steppin off these cliffs,
    a freefall into Satans palm, but i feel a frost in my chest,
    i touch my collar to check, ive lost the cross from my neck,
    wake in the hospital,it happens.. the secret passion i keep
    im under a paradox like the heartattacks in my sleep
    Last edited by SenecaHaze; April 23rd, 2009 at 02:44 PM

  2. #2
    Philosoraptorz
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    Re: Faith

    to the cops im just a box, whether in the ground or equipped with locks,
    wont catch me quick as a fox, til holes in my chest like holes in my socks

    This line was Dope. Flowed well and made perfect sense.

    Good drop man

  3. #3
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    Re: Faith

    i really liked this, it seems different from your other drops. It seems alot of the ways you worded things totely threw me off from what i expected them to be... but it worked perfect the way you did it lol... like this

    to the cops im just a box, whether in the ground or equipped with locks,
    wont catch me quick as a fox, til holes in my chest like holes in my socks,


    yeah, that was nice. 8/10

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! SenecaHaze's Avatar
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    Re: Faith

    bumper pool

  5. #5

    Re: Faith

    Overall this was pretty good. Seen this concept used a couple of times, but you flipped if freshly. Rhyme scheme and content was on point for the most part. Cool read dude.

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  6. #6
    So old...
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    Re: Faith

    aiight homie...

    good stuff overall...
    but I thought a couple of lines could have been flipped a bit better...
    like
    erratic heart beats, chest on fire no sleep in the fetal position,
    clutchin ribs in submission,take me to that better place I envision

    doesn't come across as effective as it could .. it feels a bit forced...

    I think some of these lines could be tightened up if you know what I mean...
    [re]produce [y]our Mother's b[r]e[a]st milk...
    and patch dark spots in the sun

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! SenecaHaze's Avatar
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    Re: Faith

    i got ya bra good looks.

  8. #8
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    Re: Faith

    Liked your wordplay in this man... rhymes were good and so was vocab, flow was good for 99% of the peice... i fell it dropped in a few places but it didnt affect the peice... overall it was a nice drop man.

    Hit this up when you get a chance please man.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ms-396773.html

  9. #9
    I am in all things Well Versed's Avatar
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    Re: Faith

    mayn that was good...i caught most of tha story behind it...good flow...pretty good vocab...n i was diggin how u said u went to hell n came out...mayn those last lines...i re read em like 5 times...GOOD SHYT HOMIE!!!

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! SenecaHaze's Avatar
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    Re: Faith

    i got a few bumps left in me...

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! SenecaHaze's Avatar
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    Re: Faith

    bumps

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