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Thread: Paper Hearts Crumble to Dust - [IE Verse]

  1. #1
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Paper Hearts Crumble to Dust - [IE Verse]

    Paper Hearts Crumble to Dust
    By: Nash



    the art of my soul jotted on white space
    simplified. for readers to comprehend.
    dumbing it down... for the special cases
    revealing the gold covered luggage -
    my brain contains.
    a station in my soon discountinued life
    suffices... it dies down slowly with my soul.
    a leave so bold... like a crawling leaf...
    getting too old for a tree.
    crawling through the air as a predator -
    finding soil to eat.
    but soon it's soil that eats me...
    -I'll breathe dirt.
    I'm hurt... dying inside...
    my outside's just fine!
    but I don't have a string widths choice
    or even a fabric of time -
    to tell everyone I love goodbye.
    -so I write.
    I write my heart on paper to them all.
    goodbye...
    the cancer takes me now,
    and crumbles my body to dust.
    it grabs hold of my heart and
    stops the beating. while my friends -
    and family are left behind reading.

  2. #2
     
    Join Date
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    Re: Paper Hearts Crumble to Dust - [IE Verse]

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=6040096

    The wordplay was pretty straight up. Placement and choice in words was nice. Imagery was picture paintable. Good job. Emotion was feelable. Good job on that as well. Flow was poetic, fluent, rhythemic and overall nice. The piece was original and creative. Worth the read. Keep writing bro.

    - Dagel
    IJL - I'm Coming Back!

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