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Thread: A Lost Soul

  1. #1

    A Lost Soul

    Im starin at A.... lost soul,

    battered and bruised from life's lessons on what not to do,

    and what he didnt do when he should have been doing it.

    Confused from too much negative news casts that are

    followed by "reality" tv, where one man gets to date 25

    women, or, someone gets to work for donald trump.

    Torn jeans, not because its fashionable, but because

    he cant afford new ones, but then again, it is kinda

    trendy. 13 o'clock shadow, cause he's too lazy to shave,

    and his skins too sensative, so no one really needs to

    know that he's just procrastinating. Rubberband for a

    bracelet that keeps his head on the ground, reminds him

    of the times he couldnt afford real jewelry....aka,

    yesterday, today and tomorrow. Slightly tanned, not

    from the cancer box, its natural...yeah be jealous.

    Short hair cut every 9-14 days like clockwork, now

    only if he could get his bills straight like that.

    Stress piling up behind exausted eyes, like office

    paperwork...shit he wishes he had an internal shredder.

    fingernails cleaner than a babys ass, and hands so

    smooth...its his heart thats been caloused by years of

    opposite sex frustration. he stands there....whoops i

    dropped my pen...wait why is he pickin it up for me?.....

    i gotta stop starin at these mirrors...
    <img src="http://img335.imageshack.us/img335/1183/lscopy2oc.jpg">


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  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Where are dreams deferred..
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,039
    Battle Record
    5-5

    Re: A Lost Soul

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...up-340726.html - check this out for me

    Word, I like the flow in this piece and it's format fit's it like a glove. I was pretty smooth start to finish and not to mention the simplicity really worked well to give the reader an visual on whats taking place and i noticed alot of emotive lines through out here very nice man.

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