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Thread: This Society

  1. #1
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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    This Society

    How can we move on, when it's not getting better
    I'm trying to change things for the better, like the trend setter
    But sometimes, it does'nt work out that way
    so you fall to your knees and pray, the religous way
    I think the man above, got tricks up his sleeve
    but even us G's believe, that we'll go to heaven and see
    that better day, that we've been waiting for
    that day we can use money, and not foodstamps at the store
    I know you can feel me, I'm not the only one with problems
    but the only thing left to do, is trying to solve em
    Everything we do, is a certain form of art
    that also includes hate, which we all have in our heart
    Everyone expresses it, in a different way
    I choose to let it out on the page, and not in vain
    I don't think it's right, when an innocent child dies
    but what can you do, when strays from the nine take innocent lives
    I'm not new to this, I've seen time stop
    when a cop shot my buddy, I heard a scream and a body drop
    the cop made an excuse, and said he pulled a gun
    my homie was clean that day, but he felt he had to run
    I guess this is it, this is the end
    if it gets anyworse than this, I'll be bleeding this in the pen

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  2. #2
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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  3. #3
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    some of the best shit written is the shit that we have seen and felt. nice drop m8
    <size2>

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    </size2>
    <center>

  4. #4
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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    Uppin for some more feed.

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  5. #5
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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    uppin

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  6. #6
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    the story telling was nice, but would have been better of you put more time into structuring and wording your bars better, in some places it seemed a bit awkward like

    How can we move on, when it's not getting better
    I'm trying to change things for the better, like the trend setter


    ^that opener, just didnt seem right, like using better twice and the way it was placed, anyways thats just my opinion

    good message though, and overall a decent read, maybe get some more transitions in there to link it all a bit more smoothly

    anyways pz
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  7. #7
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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    Thanks, anymore?

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  8. #8
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    word nice story telling but upp your vocab 'n shit,it was really nice the way you went at your OM the way it connected with other lines,I liked that part. Nice drop

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    Word...

  9. #9
    Newbie MightyTBC's Avatar
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    this was good mate, quality vocab, keep it up
    Mighty TBC


    Big Up U.K.

    Safe

  10. #10
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the feed, it's appreciated. I hav'nt been writing that long, so this critism helps me out.

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  11. #11
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    i think thats some of the best stuff ive seen on here....good flow through the entire piece and a good rhyme-scheam...i liked it alot

    You should deffinetly go audio with this shit

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    I’m a white boy coming at you
    You feeling scared?
    Start running motherfucka
    Got you pinned down in a corner with a knife to yo’ eye
    You start thinking have you ever done anything to deserve not to die!? - Into

  12. #12
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    o ya can you hit up my Democratic Deception OM in my sig,read it all though much appreciated

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    Word...

  13. #13
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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    yeah, sorry I aint returning the critism today, I'm sick as a fuckin dog. But I'll hit yours up right now optical.

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  14. #14
    Los Milagros Stunee's Avatar
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    last up for anymore feed...

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