Pain Is Not Love.

[Dat]

i liked the story..i could visualize what happened
it was really cool topic...and the style you have is tight
this drop had a feelin to it...and it was really good
flow was smooth..strucutre was good and even
nicley done and layed out with the ppl speakin
rhymes were good..same with the few multies in
good drop..overall around a 7.8/10...peace

Wtf @ you copying what Skribble wrote. Johnny you should take a look, see if this kids tryin to use it as a link.

Ex, you had an ok verse. I know your 12 so ill let standards slide a little.

Your vocab was obviously the weakest part of the piece, closely followed by your combination of words, and the meaning you had behind them.

I wasnt feeling anything really on the emotion side, however i suppose i did get a bit of good imagery. The structure was good, the way you wrote it was good. Just try and work on improving you vocab so you can use some rarer used words, and give your OMs an edge that makes people think about what your describing, instead of seeing the basic words over and over again ya feel?

Nice peice, it really was. Ive seen that topic before, but you did it justice for your age, and especially soon as youve only recently started.

Keep it up, pz.

[[.Exodus.]]

werd, for my age i think im good, but when i get as old as you guys i could be better.

[[.Exodus.]]

up.

[[.Exodus.]]

BumpBumpBump.

[[.Exodus.]]

wow, uppin.

[[.Exodus.]]

close this Johnny.

[Perpetual]

lmao, this sucked

get a rhyme scheme, you gotta rhyme, you need to rhyme. use better vocab, but that will come to you as you get older. you're still young but with more expereince you'll see what i mean.

this shit sucked, im not rying to diss you, im just telling you to step ya game up. you'll get better the more and mroe you write.

keep writing

[[.Exodus.]]

werd, upp.

[[.Exodus.]]

Buuummmppp!

[Mukel 187]

I liked the concept and I the flow seems good, its pretty cool, I dont know it reminded me of someone i couldnt put my finger to!
none the less good, keep it up!