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Thread: Track I wrote last night, needs opionion.

  1. #1
    Its Me Dekken's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
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    Track I wrote last night, needs opionion.

    Heres one I made last night and I wanna know if I should even keep it, whuta' you think...... goes good if u spit it to the beat at www.soundclick.com/hifly **it'll just start playin when the page is opended


    Im the holder and delivier of synical scriptures,
    holdin' in a bitter itch to rape the kings misstriss/

    catch a fuckin glimps Im like bear in the mist striving to be the diffrent,
    to where as the necks of the next might as well give into it/

    I write several bibles of lyrics as appearin in 3D,
    castin emcees to dissapear like ya' spirit beneath me/

    rappers are always fearin my pen cuz when Im decendin em',
    my addrenalins leavin em' tremblin like an earthquake that dosent let up/

    we're teachin em' every fuckin lesson invented,
    its as painfull as its been in every ten launguiges I said it in/

    Im sendin em' out dented with both knee caps fractured,
    try to get away I shatter ya legs and run after ya/

    so dont test with in a thirty foot raidus Im a nuculer bomb,
    just a wave of my arm can causes the crack and downfall of any solad rock/

    I can turn off all human existence in a second,
    makein your flesh accept the effects of a severaily hot engin revin/

    you see images and you reference em' as torture utencles,
    its evidence that ya' death seems so slow it'll never ends/

    I could leave the planet unrestless,
    unclean like all directions have been infestin with infections/

    only few get the messige if ya' brains got the levrige,
    youd have to meditate for hours to enlight to my pressence/

    cant noboy spit the shit that our level has hit/
    the feeling is so heavenly you've only a second to tresure it/

    my songs are armed with volts far more then electricity evolve in,
    pickin em'off like marksmen with a started probblem to solve it/

    devidein ya mind the second the bullet drives so finely,
    like the demonic work of an exilent sniper is apart of me/

    we show em the exit after we drasticly laugh at em' first,
    attackin em' like cavity plaque and thats just the half of it/

    adverbs aimed at your brain to make you step backwards,
    every aftermath of my statics always endin with battle axes/

    dont even ask about any facts er any actions you might of fatherd,
    couse' Im back with the bite of a mutated rat/

    my teeths dragin ya'last bits Im graphic,
    I arouse from the ground Area 51 is my habbitat/

    our lyrics could support any addicts habit,
    we rip mics flowin through emcees like atlantics/

    we sore in any storm we dont abort we coil it,
    conduct more heat than the sun stand in the ocean and boil it/

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    5,480
    Battle Record
    12-1
    multies were good man..i liked how you have been improving..and it shows..this drop was pretty good...you should really lse the return after every 2 lines....and lose the // things.....flow was p-retty good....strucutre was aiight...vocab was aiught could hav ebeen upped to a more complex level..topic was aiihght..overall this was a good drop..well done..keep elevating and keep droppin...peace

  3. #3
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Needs proper title.

    Clo-sed. read the rules.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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