Aus (1-0) Vs Laureate (1-0)

[Violent.]

Aus vs Laureate
Check in by wed, drop by fri
Topic: The Lost Soldier

[Auspicious]

no offense.. but can we get some better topics next week? their so generic

[Laureate]

Check...Good Luck Aus

[Auspicious]

you better show man

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The Lost Soldier

New Recruit

Mom.
You’ve Leaded me Through The Old and The New
It’s Saddened me To Say That I’ll Be Leaving You
My Lifestyles Changed and Its Harder Than Hell
Its Hard to See But Even Harder To Tell
We All Started it Well, But Now Im Just Holdin My Gut
Cuz The Training Is Hard But My Men Keep Holdin Me Up
Captains Getting Pissed For The Curfew We Missed
Hope All is Well, Love you With a Hug and a Kiss
- Private Holden Jones, 356th Regiment US Army-

Graduation

Mother,
Today I’m Insisted To Say That I’m Finished
Un-certain, But Now I Know Why I Enlisted
Feeling Gifted Because I Am At The Top of the Class
From The Mop in My Hand.. Not That I Laugh
Because The Thoughts of The Past, Are What Scare Me Today
I Stare a Dare It Its Face, Because They Prepared me This Way
They Say I Have a Debt To This War, Which Is Why I Regret To Inform
The Best From My Dorm.. Are Getting Set To Deport
But Before, Know That The Name On My Vest
Says I Trained with The Best.. We’re Just Being Paid For It Next
My Men Are A Benefit, Their A Steady Hit
So It’s a Gift To Go With The Rest Of My Regiment
Don’t Worry Mom.. I’ll Be Back and Un-Hurt
Infer That This Is Your Tax Dollars At Work..
You’ll Learn, And I Know The Past, Its Only An Ocean Back
So I Send You My Wishes Tied Around A Photograph
Here’s A Kiss, Blow This Back n’ Notice That Theirs Always A Risk
But Theirs Always A Problem That Needs To Be Fixed
Im Not Fond Of What Hates, But I Know How To Dodge These Mistakes
So My Next Letter Will Be Sent With The Progress We Make
I Know What This Must Mean to You But I Must See This Through
I’ll Be Writing.. I Miss You With All The Love From Me To You
- Lieutenant Holden James, 356th Regiment, Platoon 6 US Army-

War

Mother:
We Are Monsters, Guns, Torture and Noose
We Love To Kill, And War is Our Excuse
We Run Into Towns, Holdin Families Back
I Killed A Man Today.. Wonder Where His Families At
I’m Sad and Upset, I Trash at His Flesh
N’ The Only Difference is the Flag On Our Vests
Im Passionate Yet n’ Try To Bend on Whats Real
I’ve Won Medals To Remind Of All The Men That I’ve Killed
But Still, My Emotions.. Not Aloud Speak Of
Because If Im A Monster.. I’m Proud To Be One
I Believed It Last Night, For The Reasons We Fight
And If I Didn’t Do Well Yesterday.. I’ll Prove It Tonight
We Goin Back Out Again, To Scout The Men
I’m Just Hoping Your Thinkin “Damnit I’m Proud Of Him”
I Bring My Heart To The Table, You Always Believed In It
But When I Exit The Tent, That’s Where Im Leavin It
Nothing Against Morals This Is Just Not Words
Cuz The More Kind Man Is The One Who Gets Shot First
I Love You Mom, I Miss You n’ I’m Sorry But Writings Hard
Just Know I’m Here For You and I’m Fighting Hard
I Don’t Know When I’ll Write Back, Its To Far To Tell
Remember Me Mother, and I Hope All Is Well
-Lieutenant Holden James, 356th Regiment, Platoon 6 US Army-

News

To Whom Is May Concern:
Im Writing To You With The Best of My Love
To Regret To Inform You The Death of Your Son
Deliveries of My Deepest Sympathies
No Idea What Your Son Meant To Me
Radios Were Under Extreme Distortion Miss
Which Is Why We Were On The Wrong Coordinates
We Seen An Enemy In A Trench With A Broken Leg
I Was To Shoot Him, But Jones Told Me To Hold And Wait
Your Son Usually Had A Savage Fist
But He Had A Care in His Eyes When He Bandaged It
I Knew That He Shouldn’t Help Him
Because When The Man Got Up He Put A Bullet In Him
I Shot That Man Over and Over And Scolded Him
I Didn’t Have The Same Heart That Holden Did
He Fought Well, I Don’t Feel Bad and I Hope That You Don’t
But Its Hard To Put my Emotions In Notes
I Sat In Blood.. and Cried At My Mark
As He Sat There and Died In my Arms
He Told Me To Tell You He Loves You And Before He Died
He Said Not To Cry.. He’ll Be With You Tonight
He Lived A Great Life And He Fights For It Proud
I Just Wish I Wasn’t The One Writes To You Now
-Captain William Shneider, 356th Regiment, Platoon 6 US Army-

[Laureate]

Boom…
The sky lit up with unnamed colors, as bombs hailed down to Earth
The threat was real as mass destruction annihilated God’s birth
Hope vanished as the thought of peace was carried out on a stretcher
And our Father cried as Mother Nature cracked under the pressure
All living organisms were burned alive, death surrounded all
And our once thriving advanced society, screeched and then stalled
The sky was black with smoke and hate, the ground was a fiery land
As flames leaped to lick the sky, flickering over the damned
A single body laid untouched, high above the carnaged face
Peering out over the pending extinction, of the human race

He sat upon the baron waste, that once he called his home
A desolate place suiting the devil’s taste, with only rubble and stone
An army vet of thirteen years, with no rivals left to hunt
Nuclear threat was no more, because everything was used up
He stared across the battlefield, where corpses fried in midday heat
The stench was almost too much to bear, rotting life and singed meat
Looked as far as his eyes could see, but saw nothing to regret
His M-16 lay at his feet, lost without an enemy target
Not knowing what he should do next, he walked towards tomorrow
He held his bleeding heart in his hand, covered in blood and sorrow
Searching for any signs of life, or comfort from what was past
Searching for any future that he might salvage and unmask
He stumbled through ghost towns that weren’t there the day before
So new that even the risen ghosts, were left confused and bored
Dust and soot masked the air, and left the sun deeply hidden
Apocalypse had finally come, what God started Man had finished
He cried and yelled up towards the heavens, why did he survive?
Billions of people disintegrated, yet he was left alive
He wished he died and that was that, for now he was truly lost
He had won this persistent war, but was it worth the cost?

[Auspicious]

votes ??

[Foreshadow]

Damn both of you guys came all out on this one... I really liked both of your verses alot... I really think that Aus hit a new level with his shit because that was just dope... Lyric you did a good job to your storyline was pretty nice... But I'm going to vote for Aus for the simple fact that his story kept my attention from start to finish and it was real interesting and I was just locked on with his imagery and concepts... Real nice job to both good luck to you guys next week...


Vote Aus

[Johnny 6-feet]

Aus- I think i already read this in open mic. But i'll re-review it here. I loved the way you set this piece out. You clearly showed the the mental progression of the main narrator from an innocent to a war veteran to a... well... corpse. Vocab was solid, the rhymes could've been a little more complex but the real strength of this piece was the imagery. I could see the whole thing in my head throughout. I think i nominated this for OM of the month, after re-reading it i can see why.


Laureate- DAMN, an apocolyptic piece from you. The imagery you used was dopeness plain and simple. Your vocab was strong throughout:

"And our Father cried as Mother Nature cracked under the pressure"

Great line^. Your rhymes could've been more complex but this piece was mighty even without them. Again, i could see the wasteland in my mind's eye perfectly. You managed to convey the pointlessness of your charecter existence really well.


Damn you guys for making this battle extremly difficult for me to call. I'm gonna have to break this down into categories to help me figure out who won.


Creativity- despite having a rigid title to work with you both managed to come creative in your verses. I think Aus just took it with his more creative structure.

Vocab- Laureate definately had the stronger vocab

Imagery- Aus told a story of a guy's life without falling off, he conveyed scene and mental changes well. Laureate painted a vivid picture of a post apocolyptic wasteland. I think this was literally too close to call.

Rhymes- Aus had more complex rhymes but occasionally stretched making sense to use his multi's. Laureate kept it simple. Aus took this category.


Vote- Aus by about half a fucking inch! It was a great battle guys, i wouldn't be surprised if this gets SS battle of the week, we still have that right?

And someone please vote on my battle!