a change

[krumz]

we're living in corruption, where telling truth is a sin
this place is where the heartless at, destroying my dreams
eruptions, corruptions and unforgetable destructions
changed my way of living, changed my formations
living day-by-day, sipping on soul-by-soul
i've had it, this place is a broken hole
what does it take for me to be me
and let me feel free for eternity?

someone tell me what changed it all
was it money? drug? or is it just the way it falls?
or is it because no one listens
to those politicians??
it's not right, i see children yelling worst case scenario
when they should be home playing super mario
what we need is a world revolution, break the walls of illusion
a true evolution, a new form of nation and call it resurrection...

[exprtsharpshootr]

hmm, i feel where your coming from, i to see it, but we can't change the world, or can we!!! but if we do change the world, it should be 1 person at a time, like a dominoe affect
the poem, i felt the poem, the rhymes where ok, some rhymed some didn't, rhyme shceme was ok, it had good flow the way u played with words, i thought was great

ex-it's not right, i see children yelling worst case scenario
when they should be home playing super mario ^^^^^
depending on how u pronounce it, it may rhyme, it may not!

overall, good job, keep up!

[krumz]

sweet... thanx for the feedbak..appreaciate it...."LETS ChangE dA wORld !!! lol/"