Leave me and my family alone…
Death Bed
Just picked out an outfit but I couldn’t find the pants I wanted
My mom just came and said here these were on the kitchen counter… the pants I wanted to wear - no fronting
But how they get there and that’s when I get so effing tired
Living in a world where it feels everything is so effing wired
I can’t tell a difference between a ghost, a sleep walk, or something they see as miraculous
I’m so fucking mad right now cause the weird shit won’t stop and bitches smoking crack to this
And to play on a secret… one everyone keep from me
And they refuse to stop or let me out unless it’s their ending they get to see
I’m a ignore it… cause what can I do
I love my mom to death but she outside stalking my room
I feel guilty cause it’s getting me mad and I don’t wanna assume
But keeping secrets from me is fucking with my head and are thoughts I can no longer consume
What the fuck is going on? Nobody will tell me
Nobody will tell me anything except what they want to be
NO!!!! I won’t do that I refuse
I refuse to give them anything they want or the words they choose to use
I rather live one day in perfect then 10 years of not there
One second to a decade of despair
I mean I don’t even have to be here if you want me to be clear
Cause a life of oppression just isn’t fair
Don’t play games… stop the disrespect and tell me to my face
Cause all these seconds of fear and confusion and trauma can never be erased
(AND YOU STILL DOING IT)
I can’t sit here all night and wonder why I chose those pants
Or how they got on the counter or under which circumstance
It’s not over… it’s not fucking over somehow it happened again
I cant understand or justify anyone or ghost still fucking with my head
Straight up… I rather be dead