A Disciple's Thread

[Spree]

100 pages of chaos

[Baron Mynd]

Guys serious question not thot question… me and my bf were together 2+ years… we’ve been broken up since thanksgiving and I want to know how long I should wait before I date again

How come you broke up?

I thought you were trying to get pregnant

[Lenox]

How come you broke up?

I thought you were trying to get pregnant

I’m glad ur moms dead faggot, a quick fuck is what the slut was worth,
So when I talk ‘digging ur mother out’, just know I had to buy a shovel first.

Dropped this against dia and thought of you after you visited her grave site

[A Disciple]

It’s just coke and I swear it’s a hardly but he still hate it… I got a good man I love him to death



Pac must’ve knew my maybe baby daddy I wonder…. And I also wonder if he made it and still here or not and that’s why

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I remember his hair and I remember being nervous because I never kissed a black guy before… I was young as fuck and he was only a few years older

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Every body sniff coke now… I’m just one of the first to admit it

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People I respected did it… THATS what is lethal I think

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I used to be SO mean to crack heads ask C

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Just grateful I didn’t turn like them

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Welcome to my brain ( CHAOS

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Nah I never smoked crack but I did lean over their coffee pot to low though and caught a contact… I hated the feeling

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I was an at risk teen in mental at 13 and alternative school and liked to steal my families cars and such… and getting that job at IBM turned my entire life around… until then bitches got jealous and hit me in myrtle beach on purpose and I just went down from there

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Another for fact… they’ll stop when they don’t have to too

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My dads assets got frozen for years and he cut my mom off until the divorce was final… as a house wife she got $1500 for her and her kids and then she went to college and rebuilt - there’s no greater role model I swear

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I love my mom to death… I always had a dream of buying her house back cause she ain’t live in one since

[A Disciple]

His location again… and this girl that always hop on my shit for 20+ years… left them all but this one special and she knew that

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Don’t do dumb shit and you wouldn’t look so stupid

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“Keep both my heads where they supposed to be” LOL

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I cut him off sex wise for 2 weeks and it really fucked us up is what mostly happened though

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When you can’t even remember why is when you admit you were young. Just got paranoid he was always cheating again too. Like cause I love him I can’t share him type

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I get it… my ghosts were singing all around - I pray they do love me and that is why I am so confused

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Wrong* not young

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WTF did I even do wrong?

[Lenox]

His location again… and this girl that always hop on my shit for 20+ years… left them all but this one special and she knew that

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Don’t do dumb shit and you wouldn’t look so stupid

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“Keep both my heads where they supposed to be” LOL

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I cut him off sex wise for 2 weeks and it really fucked us up is what mostly happened though

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When you can’t even remember why is when you admit you were young. Just got paranoid he was always cheating again too. Like cause I love him I can’t share him type

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I get it… my ghosts were singing all around - I pray they do love me and that is why I am so confused

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Wrong* not young

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WTF did I even do wrong?

I’d blow ur back out ngl

[A Disciple]

Cause you slipped and said I don’t like your father.., I don’t want to talk right now. The bitch know it’s illegal to work on family members

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I’m going to try to sleep… they have me so sick today and he helped them or just didn’t care.

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Yo… wtf they want or have against me to begin with? For real though…

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Just want to be myself right now and they refuse to let me

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Some body please help me not to forgive my bf… he give a fuck about me or he wouldn’t help them

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He don’t give a fuck about me*

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When do we reap what we sew? And how they got my body and refuse to give it back. I didn’t give nobody permission like my bf said so how that happen?

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They did it on purpose and think I’m a all be like cool I just wanna be down… nope

[A Disciple]

Ikon taught my bf how to do it and he showed me so we broke up but now they’re playing now you see it now you don’t fucking with my head and starting all over

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Kevin never was him… they tricked EVERYBODY and they need to all go away and leave me alone

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It hurts because I can’t take my bf back now

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2.5 years and he just switched up on me and won’t get these people and zone away from me… its MY body and “these things just won’t get out”

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I don’t know who IM fucking with? WHEN HAVE I EVER FUCKED WITH YOU?

[A Disciple]

Nah cause then I look back to… I can’t and not sparring with these psychs

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Talking too much and such… do you comprehend what they did and put me thru? And that’s not to feel sorry for me but my emotions and mental state controlling my actions? I’m not your fucking lab rat

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At least you got to do what you wanted to do today was one of the realest comments I’ve heard

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Why does everyone refuse to tell me why or how this is even going on

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Here we go again and I lost the first person I could feel in decades - he was steel last nite anyway

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To good hoe… you better not bring him down or twist him out cause if he go back? I’m blaming you!

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Both sides jumped me together

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I want nothing to do with either

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PS … why?

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Kevin… you better back up off me for real too!

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Just cause you and Melissa tricked everybody and you started to believe your own lies shouldn’t be my problem… you’re environment makes me sick and I can’t stand you

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How did they know anyway?

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You’re god is sick… mine isn’t

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Kevin I told you I WILL CALL THE COOS IF YOU DONT STOP TOO… LEAVE ME ALONE

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Cops*

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I’m stupid for even posting but I want everyone to just stop fucking with my head too

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It hurts when somebody pretends to love you

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And I guess I stopped caring too…just waiting for my mind to catch up

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I guess they mad cause I didn’t fuck people when I came home

[A Disciple]

Is framing the same as snitching… if they didn’t do shit it’s almost worst…

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I’ll just let their own shit like lying to the Feds catch up to them

[A Disciple]

I used to get so scared I’d shake… then it felt so gross if anybody even touched my arm… then I was so tense all the time it would hurt to touch my skin

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Gave an 8 digit number to the clerk while on with my brother and sister today… they didn’t know about the apathy OR that I hardly do/did drugs

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Atrophy* from the breaks

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Only when I’d break… guess my occasional was right on their time. Weed, liquor, powder coke, and E (I’m pretty sure that’s it unless you count the time blunts was being passed around and I hit the wet by accident.

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Oops hash was in a blunt once too

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Shout out to the cop that handled my attack perfectly… and I don’t know how he didn’t laugh when I said … and maybe a Malaysian princess. He let me breathe and talk and SMOKE A CIG to calm down before they took me to mental.

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I know I’m white and that’s a difference but they let my bf who is black go for a ~60 in a 36 too

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Not all cops are the enemies…

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Some really do want to help you… or understand type. And yes his record pulled up I’m sure

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That’s what now you see me now you don’t did to me… don’t ever in your life sleep me again… I have a divine rite to protect myself and loved ones at all costs

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We all do… what did I do that got that taken away from me?

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35* I’m not with the sharing my body stuff

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I just don’t like and don’t want to be a part of that religion

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And the other stuff… THEY DEAD WRONG

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If I was you… I’d say then you don’t mind doing it to your own kid then or yourself

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Id say they manipulated and set you up too… sorry had nothing to do with it

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Everyone get aggrevated how much I love pac and his art LOL… I can show you some shit

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Cause his dad the cops and his brother a fed… I think he really might be the one above the law

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And we never clicked like that anyway

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My bf gets so mad how reckless I am… but I been thru so much I really didn’t think it could get any worse… I’m out the fog mostly and still fighting

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Ok the hair thing… getting my mojo back

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I don’t want anybody supporting me… making my own money and spending it makes me happy

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Had to take a break but I’m back…

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I would forsake it cause I don’t want or like a life like that… and since I still have to get eye surgery and root canals and can’t save my friend in stage 4 cancer… wtf is the point?

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I never was desperate to be down

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They really did fuck with my head on purpose… and even knew my problems started at 13 when I was in mental the first time… I didn’t advertise but my closest friends knew

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Think I saw Prodigy last night… I did a u turn at the place I picked him up for my friend not even knowing it was him

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Stuff like that… ok

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Ghost wise

[A Disciple]

Tone not perception and hear you

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Ghosts are ok I usually feel safe around them

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Stuff like that? Ok (was the tone)

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Damn… NOW I realize and he did come… but then oh girl I wasn’t the one calling for help and she gonna learn plenty about head games she like to play too

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Tail between my legs? Nah just mature… on sight for real though

[Lenox]

I’d make ur pussy bleed

[A Disciple]

Stop that’s gross… if I had kids you’d be their age… wrong one lol

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Lord I’m so tired and don’t want to hear the voices anymore - it’s been years and it’s like a tooth ache like ok don’t pay attention you know they not real but over time it becomes torture too

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Sleep… I love when my bf sleep over cause I wake up early, happy, and content for the day… but then here comes the arguments too like people are lying and purposely trying to break us up

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There’s nothing worse then waking up at 5pm

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Or staying up all night

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Its raining so I hope to get good sleep… first day back to work tomorrow

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Cause my business is nobody’s business especially when they lying and fronting… if anybody is going to tell my business it’s going to be me

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Nite… not living sicker then I have to be for nobody

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Nope… bye… NONE of it… I want to be myself again and at all times

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I trusted and thought it was God… NOPE my God not like that them or any where close to weak

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Or twisted… STAY OFF ME

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And he wouldn’t force me to stand with for beside or any of them…

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I think everyone knowing the reality of themselves too would be plenty for me!

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IE old friends that have betrayed me

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Thought I typed I dont have revenge in my heart* and I’m telling you for the last time the now you see me now you don’t STOPS cause I will kill over that too

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Me in my best world is reality… why they refuse to take no and keep coming in anyways?

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I never took a hallucinogenic… if I wanted to live hallucinating I would have

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I trip out still when I think back… so trying not to let the trauma keep making me less than most people and sick

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I despise people who think they are better than others like that

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I saw the pic with the finger nail mark on my feet and am trying to figure out how to deal with it

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When you never get justice how DO you deal with that?

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My dad thought they were my own demons and I’m just trying to figure out what’s up and why

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Not with stalkers who intentionally help ruin my life and refuse to stop fucking with me and my head too

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He’s always around when I get sick from day one! I know it’s him

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Make him leave me alone

[A Disciple]

Die

The voices in my head I don’t want to hear them no more
They’ve invaded my body tap and type and I don’t know how to close the door
My computer fucked with me again
To remind me of the place they put me in
The horrible shit they put me thru
And they act like I want to be down too
He refuses to leave me alone
I don’t even offer a thrown
A dope head mother fucker that makes me so confused and sick
Someone gave away my body, my rites, stole my religion and then act like I’m trick
You fucking prick…
Then I put on changes
And smile a bit

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My change my mood and get these infections of spirits and disrespect out

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No lie… I had a dream of taking 5 shots in the passenger of my exes car… YEARS ago… and my bf just got the same car ironically but I’m still not scared - like that bath tub too

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There’s days I even wonder if pac hate me

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Stop stalking me and fucking with my head… I don’t like this religion

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They had no rite to do this to me and I want to know why

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My first day back to work too…

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TAF someone make them leave me alone

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I’m about to clock out… I don’t feel good again now

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I get more sick out of work then in so why are they doing this to me?

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Went to take a sip of wine cause we drink it in church and for like 8 years now straight I’m still trying everything to get them out of me and calm down and be myself again

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It splashed all over my face and my new shirt - how a god so stupid to not even realize he not mine

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My God wouldn’t allow it or do it or treat me like that

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I wanted to take a bath - but I’m just trying everything to get free and writing was more important now on my break…