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Thread: A Disciple's Thread

  1. #1051
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

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  2. #1052
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    @Candy how did you post the video… I’m not able to post videos for some reason anymore
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

  3. #1053
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    i just copy from youtube link and post it the site automaticly airs it
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  4. #1054
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    @Candy that’s what I used to do but it stopped working ;o(

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    Ok… all my pac sitings since I was 16… under the bridge in Harlem 125th station, Until the end of time verbatim, Hail Mary white acs, seeing him in hotel room getting scared and running out right before it was busted, the dream getting shot in the passenger seat, trying to walk out the hospital on an anaphylactic cause they were taking too long, him screaming me at me in myrtle beach to wake up when they assaulted me, hello video and better off alone video, my dads hospital room before he died… wondering if that’s it. Since his pic is in the banner of the site and shit… why not and ohhh and his quotes all over my friends page before she killed herself… she kept calling me to find her pills and I don’t know nothing of that and glad I didn’t ask around - she would’ve used those!!! I’m sure there is more but that’s just for starters…ohhh are you still down by Jon b a flash back to north myrtle beach when I was younger… I’m sure there is more but that off the top of my head…

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    My apartment and the curry smell from my landlords vacuum before the 3 muffled bangs…

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    It was actually my brother in law that taught me “you live by the sword you die by the sword” and you will take my gun when you pry it out of my dead hands…

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    “Lord that’d my family please save us all before we fall into insanity” … guess that was an ooops he missed. But for real I remember you went in too… don’t think I forgot that. That means family!

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    So much it has me wondering if he was kin or something type weird!!!

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    Everyone all “rest in peace to the pac” you think I care? BYE!!! I would LOVE to get some peace again!!!!

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    I know not only he supports that decision he prefers it <3

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    It’s fucking hysterical how much me and his choice is alike… facial expressions and all!!!!

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    He says me if he was a girl and vice versa… like we were on a 25 yr delay trying to figure out how to jump in now and try to make some money out of this too… neither one of us have retirement accounts. I cashed mine in…

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    I was only 35 I thought by now I’d have it back…

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    Me not working was never an option in my mind… now look

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    I can’t even remember what I wore yesterday or my dads exes name or my neighbors name stuff like that. And the more I try to remember it the further it goes away but if I stop and move on it will pop into my head 2 hrs - 14 hrs later like ohhhh

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    Like the back of my mind was on recall that long or an Angel told me… like the one keeping me awake until the ambulance got there. I’m pretty sure I know why I fell out of the car saying me? Shoe! I remember the cop saying it in the ambulance trying not to laugh and like if I was mental why was there a cop in the ambulance and stuff like that.

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    Nah like you learn going insane it’s close to dreaming but not really like you’re in an entirely different world all together at that moment where ANYTHING could happen and you can’t tell if you’re dead or alive type… it all feels so real. And dreams and hallucinations are different as in insanity too and like… it’s so hard to explain

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    I can just tell you how I saw it…

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    I remember the muffled bangs… only I was a half hour away thinking I ran out of gas and left the rental in the middle of the street and walked home

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    NOBODY WILL STILL TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!

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    Yes but I don’t remember and if I ask point blank he will tell me but he won’t straight up tell me. Like I know for fact and even though I don’t remember shit he say about or asks me and stuff and situation and all… like yeah definitely did

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    Sorry. Even though I don’t remember… shit he says is like no way can know that if not

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    And I can trust him… he has a dead locked alibi so that at least I know it wasn’t him or he was involved. JAIL!

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    So that’s how I learned to start to trust him too…

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    Like I used to joke with my ex… the 95 - 2006 one…. I’d be in so deep that I’d look at him and say sometimes I don’t even know who I am until you remind me… and I lost that! That could’ve hurt me bad too. Like I wonder if we still were friends would I have went insane 9x that year

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    IM STILL being slapped awake

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    And they really refuse to give me disability…

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    Are there other case studies of other people who hit it 9x in one year. And they forget I’ve been in therapy since I was 13 years old… of course I can hold it down that doesn’t mean it’s easy

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    YOU KNOW I CANT BE AN EA ANYMORE!!!!!

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    Because biggie taught me “never feed into it” that helps

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    I need a lawyer!!! I want disability NOW!!!!!

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    I can barely do my 4 hours a day… and I have to super focus to not wander off in my head

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    It’s exhausting

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    Now I know why I was Avrilís ďIím with youĒ when spoon shot his head around and looked at me shocked when the video came on.

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    Something must’ve told him something and my wish was somebody would’ve told ME something cause apparently it feels like I’m the last one to know…

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    It reminded me of when I used to go to parking lots and wait and write spider webs in words while bored waiting…

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    And no one ever miracously appeared so I started to ignore them too…

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    That was a friend of my 2004-2005

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    Me and 95-2006 was mad on and off and sometimes open others not and what ever soooo… like I thought we was forevers first but when he got engaged I wouldn’t mess with him anymore and he like BYE!!!!! And I was like BYE!!!! But then like months to years I went to text like are you even serious right now cause we was JUST friends 98-99 so like we were that what ever where ever game talked about in one of those songs I thought

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    I picked out so many houses I started picking for my friends too

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    When I pulled up once it looked like oh boy was gonna catch feelings type defense funny

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    Yes music my best therapy usually and writing back if I ever sell back my verses I’m paying 10% to the artists on therapy fees that helped me exhale and respond why the song meant so much to me

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    Nothing ever came of it so the shit you don’t believe in you do but… the Avril chick? I assumed it was a typo but these days like who knows?!??? I’m just trying to make sense of, cope, feel better, get to a better life

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    I would love to be able to support myself and not be a burden on my moms

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    Snoop just put up a post warning people about being around unhappy people - but that’s kinda when they need people the most

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    All my exes but my favorite go GHOSTSSSS when I start tripping on the texts

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    They act like crazy contagious

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    I remember you teaching me how to kiss and he said like you taught me once so yeah what ever that means

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    I would say definitely did… should I be telling you that?

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    When it’s hard to trust you all that’s when I get scared

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    What do you think? Africa by Toto or Streets of Philadelphia Bruce Springsteen? They both like dramatically well written. If I had a daughter I would name her Africa for the song but I googled and impossible fertility gone by my age - that’s crazy… right?

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    Actually the “she coming in on the 12:30pm flight” I miss that I want her to know that feeling to travel and have fun and be out there surviving

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    AND LIVING

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    Did it work @Candy

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    Ok cool looks like it did

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    Yeah some days my schedule was 7am - 10:30pm though

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    Therapy, work, school… gym days I’d be home by 9pm or 10pm. I want go back to my best life and best heart and best mind set cause I bought my stop recovering from a break because I never knew how old I was gonna be when my mind went so I wanted to live up and do now. Why I cashed in my retirement to move back to CT

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    Drop*

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    The I’m with you? My ex was from out of town I met him picking up my old room mate and he asked how my ex was and I called off my phone number - that’s how we met

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    But I trusted him cause marl was there the first time we got up

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    Nah he know I would never and never have come in on him HOWEVER he came in on me though

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    It’s all good though I dropped it

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    What’s the word… not unforgiven more like forgotten - disowned only applies to family so what’s the word? JUST CUT OFF… right?

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    He was shaking when he gave it back to me… I’ve learned that means betrayal.

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    I’m not praying with them bitches how they pray I refuse though

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    I don’t have the rite to refuse?

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    I exhale literally a lot now… it’s overwhelming and I wonder why would I have to adapt though if it’s against my nature… you know?

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    Just caught that tag… like what? Anyways… like I won’t feed into that either

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    Yo why you always trying to put a full moon over my crescent though?

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    It could be just cause our situation though… like I’m pretty sure I was sitting there waiting cause he was in jail and that’s why no one came - or at least somebody was trying to say that

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    It definitely feel that way more than not

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    LMFAO my cards just now… if you did it that’s mean as fuck!!!!

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    Nah like he has a girlfriend and she ex military so I’m a sit my ass down over here and just watch and talk. He cool as fuck he said I could write about it as long as I say no names

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    So like I can go deep and I can zone and pause and all that but like… it’s just like this one certain zone I just can’t adapt to or submit to cause I don’t respect it and it’s not fair type shit

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    It should be my choice

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    Rest In Peace pac or more like live free and thanks for not letting me miss it!

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    Bodega closed… I would do a candle and I just smoked so idk if I would make Walmart in time… shoot… should I or not?

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    Having an Angel like pac confuses me… but obviously not just for me or my story

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    I say happy birthday

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    But I saw your ghost and you still alive too though…

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    Anyone seen mine? I thought it was just a mediation praying type thing

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    No candle until I understand what’s going on

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    I’ll burn in sense though

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    I’ll burn in sense though

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    Alright so I’m the pause, the grind, the hault, slow mo…. Etc. now I’m on some like skip? Nah I’ve been hit too much as is and yeah I did tell him so… out of sight out of mind usually

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    He might’ve just said to say happy anniversary but I don’t usually hear him like that

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    Yeah… to the point that I’m like wait am I adopted or something? Like just so confused with nobody saying or explaining things to me

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    He definitely rode hard for me beyond so like… I’m blessed to have him as my angel!!!

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    The harshest words I ever heard was “I think pac would be disappointed”

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    YUP!

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    My city waterbury has a cross that light up purple and then white and maybe one other color

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    My original homie that had a homie that had a baby with his babies mom dropped out. But I think I have a new tag team partner

    143 ~ until the end of time

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    Yeah I call my moms moms too…

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    I wish someone would buy some verses and pay me though ;o) … is that wrong?

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    I’m gonna try to sleep I think…

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    The nose ring completely ironic… on and off since like 97 maybe. My ex HATED it

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    Thug life guiltily? I have a Taurus tat on my belly… again completly ironic LOL

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    Hoping I can have 2 cause like everything I been thru and still struggling… I NEED to know I’m finally safe

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    Or 10

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    The acs were actually white and the only thing that makes me nervous is people feeling disrespected by it all. I mean there is no reason to but

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    And even scarier cause DMX dead now too… and that’s my original silent scream and gave me the speech I now realize too

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    It’s not I’m afraid to die it’s how I die and the rep I leave that scares me… ESPECIALLY to my family and loved ones.

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    These days my gma would be PISSED but I’m angled and cornered and doing the best I can… my moms gets that I think

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    She still living 98
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

  5. #1055
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    hailies comments lol
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  6. #1056
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    @Candy what happened…

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    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

  7. #1057
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread



    One part made me bust out laughing

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    The Holy Ghost part cause @Echelon just posted that verse
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

  8. #1058
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

  9. #1059
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    i got kicked out of hip hop lol
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  10. #1060
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    @Candy why you say that? LoL what happened?
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

  11. #1061
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    What kills me is if I didnít specifically remember your hair they wouldíve had me fooled that you whiteÖ ac dc just came on and yeah I remember that convo

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    I remember you teaching me how to kiss correct and him he said that after our first kiss… nice and slow like you taught me so like you to me what I am to him I guess

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    I wrote the dept of judgement about disability denying me again and gonna send it to my congressman too and THINKING about posting an editorial about how mental health need fema and regulations

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    Dept of justice*

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    FOH out of here they save my file 7 years well I’ve been fighting disability 10

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    What you gonna let them at you like they did my dad… I don’t trust them it’s in my heart that I’m scared for your safety… maybe I’m trying to make too much sense out of dreams and nightmares but evidentially instinct had me stepping too far

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    Not too far too wrong

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    Not too wrong either… dragged in a zone I don’t deserve

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    Someone on my body disrespecting me like a doctor I never even met
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

  12. #1062
    Hello - Tupac Nozzy v🖤+ A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Yeah just heard one of the babies then rapping now and OMG I’m so proud too! He good as FUCKKKK
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    Donít apologize to me if you canít change what youíre sorry for ~ Tupac
    And I learned just because you forgive that doesnít mean you go back for more ~ CLA919

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