1

[143]

One.....

Correlating the lifetimes that will allow memories to be relevant and poignant
The number of sunshine rays that emit from solar irises
The sum that represent the saving grace that aurally penetrates my situation

I could find fault within the creases that unfold between us
But you play to distract the heart from feeling undue pain

Yet

I wonder of ill master plans are brewing in a pot waiting for immature tasting subjects to barter their live away
Subliminally, my cares are a withered piece of parchment dissolving early warnings

You make me the stanchion of a world that its core revolves on eyelash flutters and lip puckers
Mac make-up laden coastlines and Vera Wang polar caps
Driving the discoverer to sail your seas for adventure and tales

Aromatic

Remembering life as blue streaks in a yellow sky, whitened by the endless miles of your smile

Photoshopping

Laying these effects, I am your canvas anew
Reborn through pixelated dreams dilapidated on sugar toast slices
Dining in the mist of a cove of diamonds and rubies
Watching a LED screen of futures that may occur

One

The number that is the alpha, omega

Completion

Last of it's kind.........

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8643086

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8643088

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION @143,

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[Emily]

I think there’s too much I like, to quote.
I look at each bar, line for line, and connect.
Unique ideas multiply and just when I think the next bar might be a bit
more ‘run of the mill’, it isn’t.
I really like some of these bars.
Ah, stuff it, I’ll quote lol.

Straight up, I like the intro.

“Correlating the lifetimes that will allow memories to be relevant and poignant
The number of sunshine rays that emit from solar irises
The sum that represent the saving grace that aurally penetrates my situation…”

Great lines.
…aurally penetrates my situation… That’s good.

“I could find fault within the creases that unfold between us
But you play to distract the heart from feeling undue pain…”

That’s so nicely put.

“Yet”…There’s a ‘yet’. It’s the same as a ‘but’, but nicer.

“I wonder of ill master plans are brewing in a pot waiting for immature tasting subjects to barter their live away
Subliminally, my cares are a withered piece of parchment dissolving early warnings”

Nice wisdom. Smart predictions. Silly self-destructions.

“withered piece of parchment dissolving early warnings” -- I really like the way you put that.

“You make me the stanchion of a world that its core revolves on eyelash flutters and lip puckers
Mac make-up laden coastlines and Vera Wang polar caps
Driving the discoverer to sail your seas for adventure and tales

That’s a great stanza. I like the way you describe the flutters and puckers, the make-up and caps.
I like the way you … “to sail your seas for adventure and tales…” …that’s great.

“Aromatic…” -----------That’s perfection.
What a great choice of word, it's like I'm in a cloud.

“Remembering life as blue streaks in a yellow sky, whitened by the endless miles of your smile…”
I keep looking at this. It’s interesting 143.

“Laying these effects, I am your canvas anew
Reborn through pixelated dreams dilapidated on sugar toast slices
Dining in the mist of a cove of diamonds and rubies
Watching a LED screen of futures that may occur”

Oh man, that’s great.
The way you depict that technology trip is marvelous.
The social ‘hub and love’ of Led screens.
“Reborn through pixelated dreams…” terrific wording.

“One

The number that is the alpha, omega

Completion

Last of it's kind.........”


Nice outro. Alpha, Omega.
I like that the full circle goes back to ‘1’.
Cool end.


This was skillful and clever.
The voice is at peace while the msg is powerful.
I like the poise.
My imagination killed it.

Nostradamus,


Nice 1.