Patriot Mutt

[Solidus]

If I were to…
Jump & plead for food, they’d label me ravenous.
So Im to remain sedated to a point beyond callousness.
‘Tis the humane way to handle us savages,
According to animists & their scandalous analysts.
Don’t bite the feeding hand, that act would be fatuous;
But who’s the antagonist?…
Blasphemous activists acting as the catalysts in the plans
Of hidden strategists.
Oh, the fabulous underhandedness…

In this kingdom of animals, no such thing as cannibals.
It’s a Dog-eat-Dog world; To society, it’s rational.
Which makes what I have to say all the more valuable.
So listen closely to the movements of my mandible:
The radical capital of this national concept is laughable…
Too casual to be fallible, too irrational to be classical.
Canines are not test subjects, nor form of income that’s taxable…
But you & I aren’t so different, to the government
We’re animals.

Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...877/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...793/index.html

[Endeva.]

i like your flow and scheme of writing, reminds me of my style a bit, yea, not got much more to say, technically solid for the most...

enjoyed the read bro, more so the first verse, thought the word choice was mroe thought out

anyways, decent read here...

can you hit my OM - 'what i do wrong'

.................pz

[Solidus]

Uppin...

[Slayerr]

nice rhyme scheme, very solid vocab if anything i'd turn it down just a little bit it may put people off not being able 2 understand some words. nice concept dope drop keep it up fam.

[143]

I"m digging the imagery here. Liking the rationality of this piece the politcal non politcal aspect. Felt like the first verse was a good introduction. then you let the can open up with the second dropping various mutlies and sims that came subtle but strong. Even with the brevity of the drop you have conveyed a clear message that most may not get. Good Job

[N.F.M.]

Solidus, that shit was blazin homie. Not a bad rap by any means. I have to say tho, I liked the first half better than the second half. The first verse just flowed perfectly, consistantly, with rhymes out of this world. The second verse wasn't too bad, but I think you could've made it even better. So props on this, and you know what to do next. Keep rappin homie.

[Solidus]

Preciate the feed. Uppin for more feed, Folks. Keep it comin.

[Vinzr]

Definitely an eye catching piece. I really enjoyed the imagery and the flow and syllable count was spot on through out. I found both verses exceptionally strong in conveying the main message so overall I'd say both verses were very good. The extended metaphor was a good one, both had links shown throughout and when you read the last line you just go ohhh.

Anyways fantastic drop man.. Sorry I'm on my phone so I couldn't really do a more in-depth feed.

[brokenhalo]

you got that underground back packer style which is not a bad thing not trying to insult you at times it sounded a lil bit like poetry the way you structured your words
but my structure on writing is off too so im not one to really judge but you got your point down your wordplay was deep solid piece

[Solidus]

Preciate the feed, Folks. Ima get to all of yalls pieces in return.

Uppin for a 2nd time...lets get a few more words on this.

[Solidus]

Final Uppin for feed....

[Methodikal]

thanks for leaving feed on my piece. returning the favor.

overall: short, powerful and stayed sharp on presentation. what is not to like here? the flow was ill (definitely first part), the second half i felt rhyme scheme was more simplistic, but the way you strung out the content in a direct and acute manner definitely made up for it.

If I were to…
Jump & plead for food, they’d label me ravenous.
So Im to remain sedated to a point beyond callousness.
‘Tis the humane way to handle us savages,
According to animists & their scandalous analysts.
Don’t bite the feeding hand, that act would be fatuous;
But who’s the antagonist?…
Blasphemous activists acting as the catalysts in the plans
Of hidden strategists.
Oh, the fabulous underhandedness…
^this was pure dopeness. biting the hand line was worded to perfection. flow was butter here fam. questioning the antagonist was definitely interesting in the context of the narration. nice shit here

Canines are not test subjects, nor form of income that’s taxable…
But you & I aren’t so different, to the government
We’re animals.
^dope, blunt and hit the point home.

nice work in the scope of it all. hope to read more. propzz

1

[miracle]

this was a nice peice..vocab was on point along with your rhyme scheme
i enjoyed this read. way to hold it down for tnt

[Mr. Black]

a brief intermission of a verse. like one standing among many, screaming for help. it ends as quickly as it began, and only the imprint remains.

the human is as savage as any organism is perceived to be.. we just have the capacity psychologically to convince ourselves otherwise.. while we study others like the superiors..

everything is incidental. the government. man vs. machine.. i mean, it's interesting to think about because we're all the same.. its the societal path you choose which determines whether you can refer to someone else as a 'savage' or not..

the middle class monster. frustration and anxiety.. its an epidemic

butter flow.. my only real complaint is that your individual lines don't hold much power behind them. they're more like a chain-link to the next, etc. they don't stand alone.

hence, i dont have any concrete quotables.

but i dug this man.. until next time

keep doin it

1

[Solidus]

@Pen

I really preciate the feedback, fam. Means alot comin from an experienced lyricist. I do understand what you mean by the individual perception & value of each bar. Thats a difficult one for me to construct, but time & practice above all.
Also, its nice to know some Folks have the mental capacity to understand the truth of the world rather than blame one another. I blame no one but the one's who have made the decision to be where they are now. Everything is at fault, but its those quirks that allow individuality amongst us.
I should be hitting your newest OM very soon, Folk.