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Thread: Colours of Freedom.

  1. #1
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Colours of Freedom.

    His tears dry before they escape, never adorning his face,
    A child, conceived through rape, and born in to hate,
    His back against a wall that's falling, he holds all of its weight,
    Seemingly 30 years old, but he's eight...they call it his fate.

    Red -

    The colour that warns, that covers a loved one when they're born
    The colour of his whipped skin, and of the blood when it's torn
    He's in trouble, trapped in a hurricane, and his mother's the storm,
    Swarms of punches rain down like rubble it's sore, He's stubbornly sworn,
    That he won't cry, that will make her start loving it more,
    So he stumbles, as he's beat down, on to the floor,
    Hatred becomes him, any love he once had, is dissolved to the core

    Blue -

    The colour of the bruises that line him, leaving clues to the violence,
    The colour of his soul, where nothing moves....there's just silence,
    His chest falls and then rises, as he remembers the assault from his tyrant,
    Pushes that aside, goes to his happy place, his tropical islands,
    It's just him, his wife and children, and a random dude who's called Silas,
    Adventures every day....his soul's no longer blue, just the sky is,
    His soul begs him to find this....but he knows it's useless to try it.

    White -

    The colour of a blank canvas, a new start,
    The colour of the cloths that bandage his bruised heart,
    As he buries his mother, he looks to his family, and friends,
    He's not there 'cause he loves her, but 'cause now it's the end,
    Thirty years old, he looks down at his captor, takes in her expression,
    He no longer feels cold, does not want to slap her, free from obsession,
    No hate remains, just sorrow and pain, as he realises what he has to do
    Taking her lifeless hand, he whispers 'I forgive you, I'm not mad at you'.

    And he's free.

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  2. #2
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Last edited by Witty; April 3rd, 2011 at 07:34 AM

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    24 x OM Hall Of Fame

  3. #3
    SCREENSHOT ASSASSIN Tool's Avatar
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    Re: Colours of Freedom.

    / cleaned ur thread.

    Remember one more link hombre...and i think it got introduced about 4or5 months ago; Tim's idea.
    Impart wisdom
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  4. #4
    Soule
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    Re: Colours of Freedom.

    I really enjoyed this piece dude, we need to collab sometime. I have a concept in mind that would be great for our styles. I really liked the idealism of this piece to be honest. Like, I was thoroughly pleased with what was going on in my head. I liked the wording alot too, was so fluent and clean. Nothing stretched out, nothing sketched as far as the flow / rhyme is concerned. Real poetic. Structured nicely aswell. Favorite stanza was probably 'blue'. But it was all amazing imo. Thanks for the read. Nom'd.

    Hit up my collab with Nahlidge, it's got NO love dude.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: Colours of Freedom.

    this was a really dope verse. first off the flow and rhyme schemes were nice as fuck, i could spit this really well. as for the content, the emotion was strong and you really got to the core of it. I liked the part about the blue being both the sky in his escape fantasy and the bruises on his skin. At first i thought Silas was only there to rhyme, but then i realized that it sounds like solace. really dope line. the idea of white being a new canvas was a good image too. that really hit hard for me. the whole red white and blue thing was also really cool with its implications of either how America is abused or how America is abusive. or both. whatever way you meant it, this was dope.

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  6. #6
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Re: Colours of Freedom.

    For a short read, this was alright. The concept was cool, although I would have used the color scheme to anchor down the emotion of the piece a tad more. A few lines hit hard, a few lines could have been tweaked, as with any piece. I liked the simplicity of it.

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