Week 8: Silk Sky vs Navage [Navage Wins]

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...642/index.html

Rules and Regulations. Drop by Saturday, Vote by Monday.

[Silk Sky]

checks! like the bounced one from my bank today LMAO

links-
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...339/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...347/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...340/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...337/index.html

[The Nav Man™]

Lol.
Check.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post7893633
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...347/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...338/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...337/index.html

[The Nav Man™]

Can I please get an extension til tomorrow.
Sorry SS.

[Silk Sky]

okay...ill post tomorrow too.

[The Nav Man™]

The Challenge Of Aiding Life
http://www.tecinese.com/images/Shado...0the%20fog.jpg
The shadowed stature passes me; ground flattered from the presence,
Several times he’s whispered through me, relentless in proving the heavens,
Shoveling panic over shoulders, residence may think the wrong way,
Dwelling folks listen to a song play; generally it’s a calm stay,
They see him….it turns to an odd day; neck, face and palms grey,
Filling the house are screams, accompanied with trampling steps,
From the outside, citizens only comprehend a rambling death,
These people who are wise think he’s present to harm or distress,
But it’s a blessing in a mask, the true future he wants to express,
He knows what ensues; he’s been there and it’s back to his origin,
The previous family got terrified…he attempts again and again..
The last house’s neighbor, a new couple’s the next effort,
The spirited shadow tried several, but will his next be better,
Seeps through the front door, invisible to a single pair of eyes,
A bare disguise hides his frame, contained where most despise,
The couple relaxes, kicks back in their warm-scented room,
A dent or bruise, may occur if in the spur, they see the news,
That this departed man, has arrived again to impart his plans,
They may feel petrified even though he’s helping, heart in hand,
Creeps up and shows himself, facing their perception he is,
Directing their ears…..eyes and, maybe their scares,
The man starts to speak up, already some very alarmed looks,
They share their arms; hooked, as well as both palms stuck,
He only gets out one statement, before they scurry to the basement,
Adjacent to the kitchen’s the spirit, once again pasted with hatred,
He walks out the front door, rain on his unreal skull,
A dumb feel to pull, when no one wants to hear your soul,
The truth of death and demise, reside in his chest and his eyes,
Til one wants to hear the facts, on the street, he rests in disguise..

[Silk Sky]

"I think you're crazy...

[you come poundin up outa touch with logistics
as if the ground is up and its the sky you're grippin
somethin missin- you've got this un-mendable stance
-you're only bein held up by invisible hands
and I try to comprehend the sighs in the wind
as the hair on your head rises when you bend
down...you see me craning my neck to calculate
frown...reaches back to your eyes but it's outta date
blinkin late, that's how separate we truly are
no connection between serene glances from afar

I put my hand on the glass and I hot air steam it
swirls of the past, you close your eyes and breathe it
deeply....uneasy....its hard to discriminate sometimes
between whats real and whats made up in our minds
its agitating, the way that you stare so blankly
at the rows of multi colored pills that I'm taking
I know you have something to say, people have opinions
so WHY do you reply with that same old half-grin?
one eyebrow cocked- I know you're a hardcore critic
but with lips locked, it should be easy to forget it

but crazy is never easy....


I look down at the wristband and damn...reality bites
teeth sink in so deep I can't feel mentality's lies
but something isn't right...
I glance up at you and words snap back in shape
"Did you take the meds? Maybe you can leave this place...
one day"

but you're not the one who told me cuz you never speak
which means...there's more to this than clever peeks
behind the wall in my bathroom where you reside
next to where my toothbrush and comb often lie
now....I remember who you are...

I clean off the glass so I can see me clearly
most people face problems, but-
I face the mirror me.]

...just like me"

[Malice]

Navv: this was actually a refreshing take on souls and ghosts type ish, you took a negative type entity such as a wandering spirit and gave it a positive mission in mind, attempts to help, and the fear those feel from its approach, treated scornfully in a sense. which for me was something newer

the flow was decent enough, topically appropriate for the picture, i think you started off really slow, it really didnt grab me til about a little over half way through, decent drop overall, nothing too great but you did well

Silk: you were a bit the opposite, you started out with something that really grabbed me, the way you were describing an upside down world really grabbed my attention, and i half expected you to continue that analogy through out the piece to illustrate the crazy in you and a lover(i accidentally saw the last line before reading), so about a third the way in i started to feel a bit off about the writing because you started going a different direction, but then the way you finished was very strong, i in my mind was expecting some sort of connection through madness type ish, but you mapped out the inner struggle within yourself which twisted nicely for me. structurally i felt you were slightly more complex then Navv. felt he was very straight forward, and you had some breaks in between as well as the dope header/footers that tied together

Overall: based on the more appealing structure and i guess personal enjoyment(felt more in tune with the subject content) i think silk edges this. both had some ups and downs and it was pretty close but again ultimately i found silk with a more original story that i could relate to

v. Silk

[_Lyrics]

Navage- this was ok here, i liked your building of suspense, but i felt like you let me down man, I never found out what the apparition said, before everyone ran to the basement. I think you had a good imagery but a bit rough of a transition in the story here, and I felt like there were parts of the story you didn't necessarily leave out, but could've used more attention to detail on. the thing is this could've been real dope if you let your ideas get more fully developed. I thing this was just calling out for a sick twist that left me hanging..let me scream for a minute and i'll get back to this... ..........ok so moreso I think you did a good job showing your characters reaction to this haunting which was one of the better qualities of my read...

Silk Sky-the beginning honestly surprised me with your rhyme schemes, I liked the images you were able to get across here, with the line of pills, it was a nice vibe to it, like its not your fault your crazy and do all these things but it is what it is "never easy". I didnt like the ending though to be honest, i felt like it was a really clever and pretty original take on a played concept, but still managed to end sort of played for me. the "look at my life through my reflection" has been done. I think you could've twisted this in a different direction at the end for much better results.

both had rough executions. I think silk brought a slightly better flow and story developement. I think nav had a better imagery and potential though. tough call
v/navv

[FreshADiddle]

Hmmm, weird match up.

Navv: Alright, i thought this verse was pretty interesting...though very underdeveloped. There was a delicate nature that your angel of death possessed...and I thought that was a nice, refreshing take on the topic. However, it felt like you described things that were irrelevant instead of the meaty stuff.......life what he was there to tell the young couple. What was he there to tell them???!!!!????!!!! lol

Your rhyme schemes are getting better...but at times, your wording is a bit awkward and excessive. You're definitely trying to use concise vocabulary...which is awesome...but you have to TRUST that your concise vocabulary can stand on it's own without excessive accoutrement...that'll really help your flow I think.

Over all, I really liked your approach to your self-crafted concept and I think that you just lacked a little in the execution...perhaps concentrate on the message you're trying to convey next time...whether it be an emotion, a plot, a character....just figure that out ahead of time, and make sure you provide clarity in that matter...and I think you'll find much greater success.

Silk: Girl...I can see that you were doing something different this week, and that's cool to see. Conceptually, I think that you came with a really familiar topic.......the whole inner turmoil/mirrored reflection thing.....with the intention to carry the conceit through to the end....but unfortunately there wasn't a lot of strength in the conceit once the first 10 lines ended.

You had some cool imagery as usual, but this time, your verse lacked the connective tissue that is your usual strength. Scheme wise, I thought the first 10 lines had a really fast paced and well defined cadence/meter...but then it fell off when you went into the imagery laden second phrase and never really picked back up.

I think that the downfall of this verse is just that the concept is really familiar and unfortunately, Nav brought a fresher perspective to his concept. Both of you had some execution problems....HOWEVER...Silk, your rhyme schemes are getting so much better....as are your's Nav...so props on that guys. In the end, I think that Nav get's my vote for a better executed concept and just a more interesting read. Close battle to call.

[Cody Nash]

conceptually, both were blow par.. I can't fuck with either of these topics without some crazy fuckin' originality which to me both pieces lacked. I liked silks approach a lot more tbh... I dig the 'crazy' idea put into the mirror idea.. the mixture is cool and it was delivered smoothe enough.. flow? Silk takes that in my eyes again.. her flow was a lot easier to vibe with on most levels.. and she didn't sacrifice wording (until that last "mirror me" line) to keep the flow going.. where as Nav's piece really had a couple spots for me that jumped off track due to bad wording.. his beginning wasn't that good to me at all.. but the drop gradually got better. I also hated how he didn't tell us what this 'dark' character says to the people.. there's this heavy build up for him speaking, and I felt as if what he said could've been important to the idea of the drop.. then, after all that build up..you don't even tell us what was said when he drove the people off... it was just a weird thing.. building up to nothing. All that aside.. there were plenty ups and downs.. but for me, one took this comfortably...


vote Silk Sky

[Cody Nash]

Navage Wins.