Composed Silence; Written by Love

[Spekz.]

Composed Silence; Written by Love
By:Spekz.

I remain caught on my dry lip
Speechless – a daunting visual
However, for the very first time
Eye see beauty in this…
…Symphonic silence

Usual mundane existence has deceased
By the soul blessed by ones presence.

He begins his prelude…

Ciphering through passive notes
Written by pale pitched sight.
Exempt ears trickle patent prose.
As lull-a-bye waves, bequeath to night.

Listening to the tune sooth the moment
I whisper soft words, to a drifted stare

Satin warm skin attracts the moon lit
Bulb, dancing tribute on a blossomed face
Expressing performance by times wilt
By the silent hand directed with grace.

Tips by finger, hold me on chairs edge
Leaning on break, I depart from silence

To leave this tempted room - I recede
Not by length but in grown animosity
Fine tuning a listen – forgetting to breathe
In hopes of a sound, played just for me.

O’ how I long to hear ones continuity
For thou heart cannot bare these tedious moments

Suddenly…

A protruding blurb intrudes the throbbing silent score.
Blood sinks to my feet, rushing me to the captive sound
Of the rash music, vibrating off delicate vocal chords.
Searching in bedded curtains, my song crier is found

My face blushes with the deepest roots of love
For my folded arms bare the sweet apple of my eye
baby hymns, sound off from his smile
as I rock my newly born son, to a silent sleep.

He sleeps - I watch
A symphony of silence.





LINKS:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ry-366494.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...be-366419.html

[Spekz.]

UM, HELLO

ooo HI!

[Itz2EZ]

Good one, I like it....

[HighEngineChief]

This was dope, right from the get go you had great wording and clever metaphores, the eye see beauty in this.. line was a dope double meaning and really shows that you know your way around poetic devices. You had amazing emotion although at times i felt the language was too complex, not that it is'nt understandable, but sometimes a simple phrase here and there brings the tone down and speaks to a different side of people, just a little note. All in all this was a dope piece man, Speks style.

[ITawAPuddyKat]

The Best Aspect was the approach and the concept. I like the Transaction and the wording, a bit refreshing though It was kind of abstract but it was dope.

Satin warm skin attracts the moon lit
Bulb, dancing tribute on a blossomed face
Expressing performance by times wilt
By the silent hand directed with grace.

^^ My Fav lines, dope metaphor. Though I just feel like something is missing from this pice, I just don't know what-maybe it was the personification or the way you write "I" "You" "Him". Feel me? The emotion was good though, I felt the character with loving the silence from his new-born. The Weak Aspect was just the fact that some of your lines were too complex and it can really hurt your piece but your mechanics hold up.

Cheers.

[Spekz.]

Thanks for the nice feedback both of you...

...Ya i decided to go a bit "complex" heavy due to the fact..i believe ima start straying away from RB form that has been so heavly adopted.

[Spekz.]

uppity do dah!

[Spekz.]

y not, give it one more little up.

WORD... .