damn this shit was dope son. major props on this one allah. i was feeling the imagery throughout and the flow was nice. u kept the vocab simple which i actually liked, kids these days be using words like hydrocorosive instead of fire and shit to make it look better but most of the time the simpler the better. i loved the story, like i said, cant find much wrong with it.
Wow..really blown away by ur wordplay,internals,flow....it just was really smooth quick piece...that also had a lot of shit going on in it...it had some good imagery/emotion but was just all about the wording.....i really was feeling ur style..it was a lil sloppy lookin at first..but then i got it all..and was really digging it...
his nerves have burst, prolly wouldn’t if he had heard of her
turns into a murderer and burns them with the furniture
^^favorite bar..just sounded good 2 me!
keep up the good wokr
and please return the favor..and hit up my piece why i write (e.a.p views)
Succeed Without Fear
Written Voices
Ayo, my bad on bailing out on you the other day while tryna show you what to work on with this. The electric went, and I had to go to sleep, it was late as HELL here in the UK at that time bruh! Haha, maybe some other time, eh?!
WORD P e r f e c t !
RESERVOIR GODS
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^word no doubt.
I knew there had to be a reason. but yeaaaaa I'll holla at you when I see you on.
goodlooks to everyone.
UA
Overall Emotional piece. I enjoyed the beggining more because it just seemed to flow so much better and just really told a story with some great rhyme. The story was okay I guess feeling a bit on the cliched side but thats okay. Keep the complexity and just try to up the vocab.
RTF please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=250742
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yo this shit hot good story easy to follow nice flow
nice concept good shit homie i even like the wordplay
structure u did ya thing nigga holla
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check this its da movement baby
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gracias dudes.
UA
anymore?? pweeese
UA
nice peice man...i liked the topic..pretty interesting....
rhymes were good and flow was nice throughout...
vocab and complexity was nice as well....and overall
this peice was good...good job..
thanks.
UA
hollaaaaaaaa
UA
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