Non Applicable

Non Applicable

I stood up and said that I am an addict and cried
It felt like my heart just died - like a straight up suicide
I’m broke all the way down inside because to my self I lied
And now all I want to do is hide
I hear that voice over and over again
But it’s anything but a friend
This feeling has no end and my word?
All my loved ones said they can’t even depend on it no more
Its not like I was a coke whore
But I’m scared, I don’t know what to do, cause I’m trying my hardest but can’t stay sober 2
First thing I did when I got out was call white girl and I called and called
Guess my old team around cause I’m sure they are appalled
Why I only want to drink on Sunday when the liquor store closed though?
And this feeling in my skin that I can’t get out of?
But only a few symptoms show…
Don’t know if it was god or stalkers that no one answered
But I learned it’s a disease to some like cancer
Just please give me a chance sir
I feel too bitched right now to be angry
Cause yo this just ain’t me
And what I became I still just can’t see
And I do, I know, I see it’s me… the lowest point ever - finally!
I had an 8yr old in my chair tonight bust out crying
I couldn’t help to wonder if it was Shadow Payne and she knew I was lying or saw that I was trying
I’m the worst hypothetical mother you ever seen
At the meeting…
It was full but the seat next to me was empty
I think it was either my dad or bd sitting right there with me
My dad not here cause he drunk himself to death
And all I heard was yup that’s you too under pacs breathe
“cause if not I’m next”
Ever go to sleep praying for death at night?
That’s when you know you alone
I have no friends
I relate to no one
And have ZERO civil rites
Mentally ill and socially awkward
The tardive dyskinesia I have from being on psych pills half my life
At least got me a dr that graduated from Harvard
I’ll probably relapse 10x before I get it right
But I want my baby girl to know it’s because of her I fight