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INTRO
Sup faggots? this site dead. Text is dead.. your opinions are dead. But one thing I know that’s alive in the biggest way is Barcotics passion for text message battles!!!!!! So let’s all grab our tissue boxes and put in the same amount of effort he does for the love of this life!!!!!!
WEEK 1 TOP PUNCHES
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barcotic
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glockamole
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bahriman
WEEK 2 TOP PUNCHESQuote:
Originally Posted by Mac.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Exalted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MUSIC TEACHER
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glockamole
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Bayou
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barcotic
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BXdeUbj4zg
DOPE BATTLE??????
YUP
ZUCH VS BLUE BAYOU
(NBL)
ZUCH
I'm a demon maulin' this mark..
So if you seen Devils Advocate, you KNOW this is a jog in the park.- Rudge1
Listen Ryan, you’re really a bit past prime
If I’m digging’ your style, it’s to bury it in a different place than I did last time
You claim you fathered my child, that’s a perfect bet
Meanwhile, your wife is doublin’ down on her birth control like it’s Percocet
You’ve BEEN trying to have a kid, secret’s out
Wife holds that sad load in her cervix, turtle walks to the toilet and queefs it out
She LOVES the peloton, I get why you let her run that
Cause If you bought her an actual bike she would hop on that bitch and never come back
We know you want to fuck my girl, it made me wonder man
Until I saw your girl on the gram, no filter, and well, now I understand
My career is a life of sin, Zuch is gunnin’ hard believe
Blue’s career is also a life of Sin... acog battles in the BA going a hundred bars a piece
On his tombstone I’ll give dude a bit of credit to start
“Here lies Blue Bayou, he did his style just a little better than Barc”
That’s your legacy, every topic you hit is shifted
Top tier for 12 years, the same 12 years we forgot that this shit existed
Nice accomps! Looks like this kid is the top feared!
You love UPN, which is ironic since you haven’t won shit since we got here
You ain’t worth a ransom, but I’m still hittin’ with ALL shots
Marker on your head? That’s just your mom trying to fill in the bald spots
Empty clips on the dome of the most ungodliest creature
Calm down, this ain’t the same hair-pin trigger from your Bosley procedure
When it comes to girls, all you do is get ‘em to scoff
Sex with women is like the Summer Classic, you never in your life finished one off
Will you lose to me again? Well, these are some deadly times
The answer is in this thread, no not THAT Answer, you already lost to him 7 times
With baldness like his, do NOT tell me this guy’s clever
Speaking of short clips, giving you a fade would be like the funniest Vine ever
That hairline deserves an ESPY, Stuart Scott has the plaque drawn
Chris Berman once described it as “back back back back.. gone”
Your losses need multiple hands, two dozen’s enough
My losses? You can count on these two fingers, like your wife does to get off
I don’t stack old wordplays, that’s the class way for Blue
He’s dumping the whole notepad out on this one like it’s the last day of school
I roll with killers like DC, spread like the touch of a disease
You ain’t snipe SHIT, even though you work out the trunk of a Caprice
Hairline is breaking BAD, bangs are beggin’ to fit
Forehead so desolate I could park an RV and cook meth on that bitch
I got foreign guns, take a single step and ya gone
This Spanish Armada take the top of like Veronica Vaughn
Since ‘01, what I’m preaching to this guy’s sick
You DO have top shelf potential Ryan, but good luck reaching it at five-six
You contribute nothing to this world, don’t mean to mud up ya spot
If Mankind is proud of anything, it’s for the stuff you’ve done with a sock
You ain’t a creator, NO way you can stay hot with me
You’re about as tall as Stanley Kubrick, and that forehead is a Space Odyssey
These are impact statements, don’t forget this lesson homie
Any impact statement you make on me comes in the form of victim testimony
I stay between a bitch legs, I ain’t shook with the nonsense
‘Muff diving’ to you is hitting his archives lookin’ for concepts
Dissin’ my fam, but still can’t come with a sick punch
Go ahead and fuck Jamie my guy, I’ve been trying to dump her for 6 months
You’ll do anything for respect, my crew stays with the favors
Just because you dress like Mr. Rogers doesn’t make you a Neighbor
This is rape, we know that spitting truth is hard
Ajax is gonna come in here to vote and end up giving you his card
This verse was tailored just for you, watch the paradox shift
Homemade BANGER, I’m on my Boston Marathon shit
Mangled at the finish line, fans scream with no interruption
Body is Chess Club, people see it and barely notice a function
VS
Blue Bayou
Matt Zazucha aka TOP iLL... can't afford a nose job or to feed baby Rudge cuz hes still pouring drinks and waiting tables
Nice mug shot...
so Scout is Barc & Culture’s Ans.. alias test is complete
now you getting votes over Dave is the only mystery left in the league
of course you love the taste of beaver with that facial feature
only guy i know that goes down on his girl & penetrates her deeper
can’t believe dickriding has given you this sort of persona
if you’re cutting up the Lime w/ ANY consistency, somebody just ordered Corona
gave himself the easiest battles, wtf, this is meant to be random
got here cuz the dumbwaiter pulled more strings then 19th century mansions
you fucking stink bro, hygiene’s depressing the clients
last time you ‘took a bath’ you lost 2 stacks to me betting the Lions
you're amazinggg, i haven’t seen such class my whole life
that’s not a compliment.. that was ur message to me after i smashed ya homesite
& i know your prison time is a topic that’s felt..
irony 101: you went thru Hell in a Cell & i'm coming out on top w/ the belt
lookin like Kid Twists kid sis, you were getting dick for days punk
first guy in history to spend all his time in the Hole & never misbehave once
i demand celebrity treatment! nahh i’m just trolling you punk
you rolled out the red carpet slipping outta my hands as i was loading the trunk
resumed my Peloton grind mannn my biking is fast..
but i’ll never be backpedaling as quick as you after recycling raps
i LOVE bloodshed, shot at close range will shatter this herb
when the first round exits it’ll be a worse look for Zuch then his battle w/ serge
it’s no wonder Jaime thinks you're worthless and scum
you got more excited for an SC Finals birth than the birth of your son
aaanddd you didn’t even win.. why you such a cocky prick?!
votes had so many Neigh Neighs Silento popped in & said Watch Me Whip
Jaime loves my penis & says my cock’s got clout
dates w/ me she’s got a crop top out.. pics w/ him she’s gotta Crop Top Out
should see how quick we hold hands to some frisky slow jams..
everyday’s a Freaky Friday bro i stay inside Jamie more than Lindsay Lohan
broke ur heart when she left you for a fun n’ frisky time..
i feel you bro Jamie did a number on me too... the number 69
he can’t find the clit so she’ll never be impressed..
keeps askin Jaime where da hood at.. she’s nicknamed him DMX
i even fucked her out in the open, wasn’t a time i wouldn’t beat it
we were right under your nose this whole time, no wonder you couldn’t see it
& for the record i came every time my dick was in
Rudge is mine, you’re a Bigger Fake Dad then Kanye’s gift to Kim
it’s Mr. Steal yo’ girl.. pulling Jaime was light work
next ‘bachelor’ Rudge has hanging over his crib is you changing his diaper
using rulers for shin pads.. god you’re little dude
you don’t skip leg day, you SKIP leg day cuz a squat would cripple you
those bad genetics makes bitches never holler at all..
how do you even walk? you got some dog legs i wouldn’t pay a dollar to golf
fuck your wedding invitation, i ain’t prone to follow friends
i’m only going to leave paperclips around the house.. in hopes Rudge swallows them
Astra .22 shoot ya baby grab the nine n’ ringgg
when you see Young Zazu pummeled by a Cub it ain’t The Lion King
i know you’re not a narc Zuch, you ain’t that kinda animal dawg
your Covers Blown cuz there’s NO WAY a kleenex could handle the job
my blood is my unit, i’ll gather every single can n’ then..
Caulkin to clap when you home alone.. question ever seeing your fam again
you’re simple as fuck man, i guarantee the hype’ll fade
got a Direct Approach that couldn’t Blow Up w/ the help of Michael Bay
if you wanna improve & stop getting mauled in cyphers..
so many Minor Changes are needed you told Jamie u’d handle allll the diapers
fuck Masters conditions & every golfer testin the shit..
only guy worried about Augusta Wind is Zuch on a hike next to a cliff
pack a swisher at the same time my cash delivers..
that’s why i’m not taking any Top Lip, he’s got a smaller ‘stache then Hitler
make em sign out cryin from my crazy finish
it’s nothin’ to push a faggot out.. shiiiit even Jaime did it
Blue Wins woooowwww!!!!!
WEEK 3 PRE DICK SHINS
Music Teacher Vs Corleone
- Two NC members trolling RB I know who Corleone da gawd is can’t figure out music teacher. Bother are good especially Corleone. In fact I can’t believe he posted that trash this week but if he sticks around he’ll easily champ.
Corleone 100/0
Sharp Vs Spectre1
- sharp just here helping. He has bars but just keying up stuff and catching L’s watch for him to come back with some fire.. I only know Spectre from this league so far he needs some work. Needs more wit and more aggression. He’s right there if he can tweak some things he’ll be catching wins in no time
Sharp 90/10
-Bag Mandela Vs Knoxville
Bag No Showed last week but he’s got bars. He’s always in the RB cyphers dropping heat. Knox has dropped rushed bars it seems and is always known to bounce back. This could be the sleeper battle of the week but I got Bag winning
Bag/80/20
Axe Vs Hush
-Axe need some work imo. Needs to dumb it down. He’s got concepts but if everyone else can make a bar dope in less words so can you. Hush a HOF vet but probably will no show.. if he shows he wins but my prediction..
Axe 100/0 NS win
Resin Vs Robo Cop
- Wow Resin signed in. Probably won’t show but if he does he’s just toooo dope. Robo aka Plot is actually starting to drop some fire so could be a good match. Plot wins by no show but if resin shows..
resin 70/30
Bahriman Vs Justice Grimm
- These two have got some rust but both can drop heat. Could be battle of the week as both are huge threats in any league they’re in.. hard to predict this one
Barcotic Vs Exalted
- THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE MAIN EVENT OF THE WEEK WITH YOUR GOD BARCOTIC BATTLING exalted! Prediction??? SOME ONE IS MELTING DOWN!
Blue Bayou Vs Glockamole
- Wow
MV Vs Mac
-These guys coming off of two wins. Mac had a NS win but can drop heat when he isn’t lazy. MV has top notch wording but concepts a bit dated. He has no qualms with fucking another man in the ass and Mac is handsome. Let’s call this a win for both battlers
OUT
Fuck you losers. Can’t believe ppl still cry over text message battling. But as a battling community we’ve all heard about the sad news of the passing of the Great Pat Stay. Let’s hope Canada doesn’t burn down to rubble so Blue can take his son golfing and Barc has bushes to trim and mulch around… here’s a few videos of the King
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3lXc43Wfm8k
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pymF9Yah-CE
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AnoW6GsGxIM&t=9s
