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Winter to Spring Part 2
Winter to Spring Part 2
I awake to birds chirping, Welcoming me into a new day
Cool breeze from the window, warm sunrays on my face
Rub my eyes to clear my vision, look at my yard, images come and go
Green grass glistens back, Flowers form my personal rainbow
Hastily pull on some shorts, head to my porch to greet the morn
Sit and stretch in a chair and reminisce, about beauty that has gone
Robins play tag in the air, as squirrels play Hide-and-seek
Ants scurry to build hills, while butterflys circle at my feet
A single rabbit sneaks its way, into my garden at full bloom
Watch stems wilt at its weight, And exquisite flowers become food
Dragonflys immitate Sparrows, darting one place to the next
While crows circle overhead, scouting for certain signs of death
But none to be found this morning, Beauty outshines every other
With Cardinals and Bluejays show off, competing for purest color
Lawn mowers in the distance, blends together with chirps and wind
Slight goosebumps start to form, as refreshing air massages my skin
Not a cloud disrupting the sky, A blue sea drowns out my instability
Everything at equalibrium, hypnotize by unified swaying leaves
One with nature as I sit, carefully over see every occurance
All my subjects behave splendid, as if they notice my observance
What a truly gorgeous beginning, to a perfect summers day
Happily lost in another realm, without any worries or disarray
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:sex: I guess this is cool for bright sunny skip along day
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^dont you dare hit on my benny boy!.. biotch!
this is tight for a poetry thing it was like a picture in my head.. i didnt enjoy it as much as part 1 tho.. iono y... and poetry is dope.. you can pick up chicks.. or BEN
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wow, this is way better than your last one. the set up and flow of this poem were perfect for poetry. the image you place in my head about spring also was superb. you describe things sooo clearly it made me think i was there < really) the vocab was good.. try for you next poem not to make the piece rhyme. see how you cope with that. good piece man. keep it up. pz
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Refreshing.. easily related to.. i luv spring.. u captured all the abstract ideas pretty perfectly.. all the colors, smells, sounds etc were vivid an this piece was alive..
good job dude.
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Thanks guys...up....vets?
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yep
I used to write poetry and then i just started rapping but if a girl wants a poem she still gets one...all sappy and lovey dovey.... you had good imagery ..the summer......is almost here so this is a good topic that most can relate to....i'm a crew member so this prolly don't mean shit.. but i nominate for good poetry thingy of the month...
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nice drop.... good imagery..it seemed that you went more
in depth with your description of the scene in this one, than
you did in part one....which i think always helps w/ the
visualization of the piece...good job, a very enjoyable read
keep it up....
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damn i wish spring came in in va like that...all sunni and happi...but yea i saw wut u let me see...so nice on the imagery...the flow was kept and the vocab was up there...very nice drop...even if im not so inspired by the seasons i do appreciate the poem...loverly...nuthin but respect...-shi-
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Good imagery, I liked how you kept each line near the same syllables so it's stayts smooth...
Basically agreeing with everybody else
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Great poem... you had some great descriptions of your surroundings, made me really feel like it was spring... for some reason it reminded me of the shire in Lord of the rings
What definately stood out was your vocabulary... you had some excellent stuff going there, especially the line with "equalibrium" or whatever the hell u spell it like
Rhyme scheme was simple and easy to read... all round a great drop... keep at it!
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even it's about the weather
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^^ actually its not really all about the weather, you should read posts before you comment could help you out some.
MAN! how i wish it was summer now, to feel the sun's warmth again, to swim and wear shorts and tank tops.......man this poem makes me wish it was summer now so bad!!!!! lol. but really i think you did a good job taking everything into sight, it seems like you got everything around you into this, everything that was happening, thou it coudl always be more detailed, right down to the tangliing lines on a leave, thou i felt you put in a good ammount of information. you kept this warm feeling in this piece with such a relaxed feelign to it too. it was easy to read and brought many happy memories to me actually.
T