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damn this shit was dope son. major props on this one allah. i was feeling the imagery throughout and the flow was nice. u kept the vocab simple which i actually liked, kids these days be using words like hydrocorosive instead of fire and shit to make it look better but most of the time the simpler the better. i loved the story, like i said, cant find much wrong with it.
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Wow..really blown away by ur wordplay,internals,flow....it just was really smooth quick piece...that also had a lot of shit going on in it...it had some good imagery/emotion but was just all about the wording.....i really was feeling ur style..it was a lil sloppy lookin at first..but then i got it all..and was really digging it...
his nerves have burst, prolly wouldn’t if he had heard of her
turns into a murderer and burns them with the furniture
^^favorite bar..just sounded good 2 me!
keep up the good wokr
and please return the favor..and hit up my piece why i write (e.a.p views)
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Ayo, my bad on bailing out on you the other day while tryna show you what to work on with this. The electric went, and I had to go to sleep, it was late as HELL here in the UK at that time bruh! Haha, maybe some other time, eh?!
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^word no doubt. :)
I knew there had to be a reason. but yeaaaaa I'll holla at you when I see you on.
goodlooks to everyone.
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Overall Emotional piece. I enjoyed the beggining more because it just seemed to flow so much better and just really told a story with some great rhyme. The story was okay I guess feeling a bit on the cliched side but thats okay. Keep the complexity and just try to up the vocab.
RTF please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=250742
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yo this shit hot good story easy to follow nice flow
nice concept good shit homie i even like the wordplay
structure u did ya thing nigga holla
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nice peice man...i liked the topic..pretty interesting....
rhymes were good and flow was nice throughout...
vocab and complexity was nice as well....and overall
this peice was good...good job..
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