A Disciple's Thread

The rest 2/4
I made it to London, as a sec I maxed out
And you shaking no to me mental I wanted your mom to know in spirit you still living and brought this about
Psychs and jails are this close SHOUT
Cause criminal mental held my key
But being crazy doesn’t define who I be
And it’s not all to do with what happened back then
Thank you for being my angel for every fact when
I wish I had a suv to drop this on your grave tonight
But the snow marks 3 days before you took your first flight

The rest 2/4

This one longer than uncle Murdas wrap up

First draft - here we go

(Over Hail Mary beat)
https://youtu.be/51JC2F-FfZ4


30 years my senior and I look back on life
“Shit… Life
Will it take me under”
Yeah… that’s right
Sit down and take it or stand up and fight
I hold you sacred but not only cause you were gone to young
It’s when I started to be tested and caught my religious tongue
It was…
Snake, rat, gun
And Hollins… it hasn’t been fun
Just “where we come from we don’t run”

So anyways I ran…


(Over seen it all beat)
https://youtu.be/pAmbOVpNVps


Yeah it’s true
Getting hit from all angles that this alleged game do
But between me and you
I don’t know
Was just barley catching a one to grow on to grow…
One to grow on… you know?
So it’s down to friend or foe
Down to the exact second
1435 and my 3 shadow
But “Whoa”
It feel like I’m being beckoned
But nah I’m this bitches entertainment that my GMA reckoned
Humiliating me was her favorite show
While the Feds just watching too but not knowing how its really supposed to go
In prison? I was Yellow…
14 hours but you already know
I assume you lived your entire life like the one I’m describing and still trying to get to know
And I’m a be just fine
Little man was just being a dick
And every last one of them left just fell out of line
And It makes me so effing sick


(Over runaway beat)
https://youtu.be/fxdJInWWGtU


Hollins I felt you lift
But it was when everyone got out the car
So for a second being crazy and bleeding black - believing vampire wasn’t a fetch too far
So I felt the guilt a bit, then with the mental it seemed a punishment for a crime i didn’t even commit
But thank god I was on a New York dime
Thank god for my talent to rhyme

I made it to London, as a sec I maxed out
And you shaking no to me mental I wanted your mom to know in spirit you still living and brought this about
Psychs and jails are this close SHOUT
Cause criminal mental held my key
But being crazy doesn’t define who I be
And it’s not all to do with what happened back then
So thank you for being my angel for every fact when
I wish I had a suv to drop this on your grave tonight
But the snow marks 3 days before you took your first flight

So I tatted 2/4


(Over freedom beat)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vDpU1z...VwYmFueg%3D%3D


Death not insanity… and anything else it takes to be free
Free my peoples free us be
We free right there and I’m giving them the key
Hail Mary… and the reason I fight
But Mary please. Please don’t forget to pray for the victims at night
And me?
I dont wanna take it and be their trash can or closet anymore!
Me? I just want to be free
Free is what it takes and I can’t take it no more
We here - the next generation
Pac finally told me what he’d do with his last breath
And mines still right there whispering get back up with no hesitation
To teach and reach a nation
That’s why I breach their equation

Anyways - He’s finally out now…
My GMA passed the day she met him cause I think she knew I’d be safe now and she can let go… she was buried on her 100th birthday and finally back with my gpa. And thanks to you I know death is not the end and she watching over us too
I never would’ve never believed that if I didn’t see and believe in you


(Over angel beat)
https://youtu.be/U9z9CJVjfYA


Forgive me, I don’t know your daughters name but I pray for her almost every day
I guess in a way you had something to do with me remembering mines
And all those moments I thought were just lies that kept the lies in their lines
Psych at 13…
I was 14 when I had my daughter… a week before my 14th birthday
Judged for all that I didn’t even remember and didn’t know was all about me
Now they can’t stop me
I don’t want to change with the winds
I don’t wanna circle 4
I don’t want the loops or the bends
And certainly not the kids of some crack head whore
So I asked my father when I lost him… what’s the war for?

He didn’t know either… but he knew something


(Over say goodbye to yesterday)
https://youtu.be/oK9gLkXe0xw


I’m not trying to disrespect anybody but somebody think they can tell me and my body what it do
And when it all became too much I’ll be sure as usual to come and tell you
Bitch slept with every last bf I ever even had
And I’m not even the one mad
Get her off me I just want to be free
I ain’t with that sorcery…
I asked about your family and wanted to know you as much
She said it wasn’t a good idea so it always bothered me and such
Any ways so I let it be…
Knowing in my heart you’ve always been the eyes in back of me
30 years my senior looking back on the first time the world stood still
I just hope you proud of me now and always will

Insanity! Sometimes it gets so hard I wish it was me…
I don’t know why it was you and I can only think of that god needed you too

We all miss you

Sincerely me, C
and JUST LIKE shutter island I realized it was me 😂

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Today actually marks the fist time the world stood still… he died at 12:24am I think

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In surgery

https://youtu.be/HEvdvWC3wVw?si=_oVWaHWQK7E4VB_S

Dang I lost the song and can’t find it

What goes up must go down I suppose… my bf been talking to ma any which way these past 3-4 days and he won’t tell me what’s wrong

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Everytime he does that it pushes me away but I feel like he’d upgrade me easy especially if we hit and our story makes some money

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I just want to know who I was always whispering too half my life

I want to put what I’ve been thru and seen in my head on film

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I want to maintain that maybe important people who can help me right are looking and try to use that to compose myself and act right

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It makes me mad that it didn’t have to be so hard and complicated but I’m in a prison based on lies and cowards afraid to stand to their own Karma

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I pray almost every day that my old friend / room mate just go away… it’s gross I feel her in my flesh and hear her voice and I don’t look down on anybody more

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When she put herself on the pedestal and starting shooting down at EVERYONE else I started to see some of what she really is

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I hope tonight Chris makes her go away

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FOREVER!!! God can tell me what she did I don’t wanna hear see or speak to or about her ever again

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We almost got in a car accident with a truck tonight - he came in to my lane which made me push almost to the wall… I jerked the wheel so quick I thought we was about to spin

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She out throwing already

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I know because when I tried to send back the perverted shit car accidents were everywhere and someone stole the wax from the candle… it wasn’t even directed to her to send back… I was trying to get the sick shit off me too as well as the sleepwalk

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I know in my heart she lied to the law and I just wanna know when am I free? When is my sentence over? I feel convicted and ain’t even do shit

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Chris… I’m praying for snake, rat, gun

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I’ve been in complete poverty since 2014… why do they take every dime or chance at a dime away from me?

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I could’ve got better and now it’s too late… like it’s too late of having my life long dream of being a mom

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You have all this money to keep me trapped though

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Just like that Church in Waterbury who spent all that money to change their steeples while our community is poor

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Like a slap in the face

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It feels like they won’t accept the word no and get off my body

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Clicking this or that to annoy me like it’s magical but really it’s the tardive dyskinesia

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It’s all good I don’t like anybody either

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I appreciate if the artists do know who we are and help and hang their fans write back on their wall

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Money again really would solve all of my problems

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My family deserve the truth… I deserve the truth

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Having my own money again*

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Them bitches can go sell their soul but they can’t sell mine - when do I get my god and my body back?

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Why does this bitch have an obsession about keeping me from working or writing?

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What does this even have to do with her?

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That’s what I’m still going thru Chris

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Afraid to even say I’ve been sleeping better or they’ll start up again

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My dreams are all opposite and fucked up thoigh

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It’s twisted and I don’t like twisted

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My aunt came down idk how much before and I had a self defense class a few weeks prior… who the hell would do that to me and put me thru that on purpose

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Especially in pretense of a hair show… i rather die then live my body or soul with her with them and nah im not the Lesbian either

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Hollins please check in tonight and fix it… fix me

Listen… I’m getting real tired of them. In Fourth of July 1997 a car of guys pulled us over when my old friend was driving… Kevin was at her window and said oh oh oh then came to mine to kick it - I always held that card to find out why… he’s not my friend he never was my bf either I hardly knew him and didn’t realize he was scheming… LEAVE ME ALONE

https://youtu.be/LOUmjIufD4M?si=jlj2jcJNroT2u0YF

Lmfao!!! I love Eminem… so bad my favorite

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I never got into pills though

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He was at the wrong window… they set me up with him on purpose

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All I’ve done is weed, liquor, and coke… and E years and years and years ago

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I’m not a drug addict

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Tried hash once… and smoked wet by accident once

https://youtu.be/qpuVI5uuwdE?si=QkKP1DRMG6TyxKIU

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I love all his temixes

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2003 - cause I was back in like 3-5 months

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Yeah… no clue how or why I know the lyrics to dirty nursery rhymes - and they dubbed out the Chicago bull emblem

Dear Pac
Pac why nobody writing to you?
Next to me yelling or chasing me out of the room
He got busted that night and I learned to stay away
So who is that voice interrupting me when I pray
E 125th telling me Im a be alright
So why tonight am I still losing the fight
Im not even sure if I can trust you anymore
I heard the rumors, they saying I'm some coke whore
How he don't even care, it really wasn't a bluff - was it?
I guess being unprepared mostly does it
I burned out 3 stars wishing so hard and it feel like god don't even care
When I went on to check and he wasn't even there
I couldn't do anything but stare
You told me he didn't care
I didn't wanna wake up even though it was curry
I heard, heard I died, said ok and rushed in a hurry
I didn't survive them shots
Cause after shit just got worse
And I'm so sick of living the side of the cursed
How they can make me feel so sick this easy
Tapping and tracing and posing I rather be back where the Ds be
I ain't scared of jail no more...
The pain, the physical pain I get practically every night
Back then I'd shake it off and said I don't care I was with god when they'd make fun of my plight


Even my God left me, I can't understand anymore
Yeah Pac, I was talking mad shit to satan banging down his door
What we even here for?
The hissing and tizzing the letting go of my wheel screaming
Popping all this shit cause they heard I was a demon
Then how that be my peace and comfort be gone
I been said I'm not going to make it but I ain't even do no wrong
I don't deserve that trick to lay in peace with one that hates me
Or forced to live this sick shit while strangers debate how I see
They have me in so deep I have no clue who to trust
They trade my peace and comfort for pain and add addiction their must
Talking about a good fella that catch a raw deal
What the fuck am I even still here for, really my real


I know God is listening I burned out 3 stars wishing so hard
But I never get what I ask for ever since I shot down in that yard
Not that I ever really did before, on our side we don't get what we need
Only what is going to hurt more
And I don't even know how I'm a sleep now
Like always just when things get better, we just on the reverse - how?
Right now I could give a fuck about this earth
And I'm tired of them degrading my self worth
They swear its so easy and I'm so quick to forgive
How much longer God do I have to live

I'll never get over them raping me
I can care less about them taping me
I guess it's for the weak cause I just can't get past it
Then to add the extra right after I blasted it
I ain't ever get a friend, or anyone to understand me
And I'm starting to realize its cause my birth dads family
Well he's dead, and pac you are too
I don't care if I have to do it by myself, conviction on this genocide past due

So tell them keep laughing and proving all that you can do
I don't feel so stupid, virgin is sacred in our blood - so what? Es tu and fuck you then too
Maybe the pattern was just repeating the first
I never had to care less over more but nah I ain't them tricks quenching their thirst
I'm so confused I thought at first finally it all made sense
But he never came back for me and I been fucked up ever

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https://youtu.be/PmBYiGxBRmk?si=J77_aqPrXPP9f8NM

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Life was like a movie and you don’t realize that it’s happening to you or what you truly been thru… dealt with… conquered

That was written in 2019

https://youtu.be/ghuFhDNdUPw?si=u2KCtS1D-DpgoS1n

The one thing I love of the dirty (down south) is the music and how it can pop off in the clubs

So proud of my nephew Nico - please support his dreams too @Candy

https://youtu.be/TV2LqIUFveY

on Instagram nonun2rapbattles… what’s yours? Trying to pop off viral @Candy tell me yours too

This movie actually pretty accurate guys

https://youtu.be/y2FgCNpq7II

They REALLY working my nerves right now

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Let me tell you a story… way back when in 97 around the time they preset Kevin. Me and my bf we got in a fight set up by bitches that weren’t right. We dropped the bat to her and she snuck a book bag in my car. We went to the police and fetched a story too far. We blamed them and confused them with the report - so the bitches who set us up just acting like the game is just some sport. Turn around and look �� over there, THEY the drug dealers you protect every year!!!! Not us ����

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I’m not a snitch but I have no respect for them and tired of getting blamed and getting my ass locked

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Kicked*

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By luck I made them put bat on the search warrant - it would’ve been about 2-5 years and what makes me so mad

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All these things these bitches did I really did swear it was an accident - now I know

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I’m starting with Tim… you set him up and was going the same effong thing PLUS robbing them

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She set other people up when she get paranoid to take the focus off them

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And she been doing it and winning every time since about 1997

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Can you please get them bitches away from me

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I really just though it was all just accidents and made excuses for them

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You don’t act like that you don’t think like that - them bitches been playing me for YRARS I’m just done

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Walk away why they still fucking with me and my life and won’t just walk away

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Haven’t spoke to any of them in like 10 years but what sucks is sometimes it feels like they’re sliming inside me or I heave their voices

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It feels SO GROSS when it feels like they in my body

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Hear their vouces*

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I didn’t even know they were selling until the pull incident in NC

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Pill incident - her mama was sending them down lmafao BITCH

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We ain’t ever use the government to sell or move our shit - why they on their side and not ours pac

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AND we donated to the fraternities

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That 3x thing… I don’t know either bitch - it’s your craft not mine

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“Got to the fork u the road and went straight” my mental and being set up cost a huge accident that I had to use my pension and 401k to pay off - we paid him he pay them either way I’m out and all set - but I want my money back

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At this point I’m so broke I’ll even risk it and take product back

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The more I feel like you or hear your voice the more I’m a talk about

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That’s why she’s so paranoid officers

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And that’s why she refuses to leave the “scene of the crime”

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She manipulative as fuck and just making sure she straight

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When I got her niece a job they never told me she tried to steal diamonds - they told me they were at court for a restraining order against her bf cause he was acting abusive

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I don’t remember how I found out but I lost my network and couldn’t use them for jobs anymore

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The ones who swear they hate liars are usually the biggest ones

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I’m just waiting to find out how they made shooting me legal too

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You should’ve left my father alone then and stop gunning for 50 too

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They tried to blame 50 for the gang rape driving me past concert ads that had 50s logo on it

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I dumped in like 2004 - that was the accident - my house was surrounded and I dumped

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Been out ever since

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Cause if it was the police they would’ve just tested the water

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It was life changing

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Sir… she can’t set me up and you can’t get me cause I really don’t do nothing

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I know what it feels like to feel so stupid believing her too

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Turn around and just look I swear lol

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Why they play hop scotch on their taxes and I been audited 3x?

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My taxes legit

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I’m going to tell something every day until them bitches finally leave me, my body, and my religion alone… and my privacy too

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I don’t know magic I know I moved 3x I sent it back 3x and I’m still being hit

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I don’t know anything about magic* but I don’t like it at all

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Not going back to the game… going back to food and beverage I live off tips again - in hair school

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My moms plan for me since kindergarten… just as ironic as the matching Altima’s - I used to respect her and admire her strength in plight but nah that friendship is over too

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And anyone that’s affiliated with them in any shape, fashion, or form

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I want my $30k back too

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Was set up doing a favor for my friend