HMM SEMI FINALS: Miracle vs Jack Hallows(MIR WINS)

https://i.ibb.co/D4Syq33/RB-PLUS-1-2-ORANGE.png

Regular Battle
Punches due NO DUE DATES
Voting ends on NO DUE DATES

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1 bar(2lines) vs 1 bar(2lines)



You know the rules, if not, refer to the rule thread.

first to 4 wins
3-0 is a KO

botw

Guns shoot like paparazzi.. u’ll see that flash before all else fails
Shoot up ya whip, u can Diana car fast like the princess of wales



@Jack Hallows

you thought botw meant battle of the week but in actuality, it means..

Bitch Out The Way. it’s UFC: Ur Future Champ sweeping ranks clear
so U’re F’d, C? 1-2’ll un-do u. submit, subdue u. i’m just keepin it Frank, Mir

die in a car is pretty sick
i liked it
i was feelin the rhymes in jacks bar
what took away from it was the frank mir play
i seen it a few times & i dont read much on here
so im sure its been done more
i can get over that it still just dont hit all that hard
saying ur being frank aint a crazy hit
was good shit from both
winner miracle

I vote Hallows

the whole guns shoot like paparazzi's is so overplayed at this point. hallows was so poorly written though, but original

Variations of both bars before are nicely written. JH had a bit too much going on in his bar for me. Integrating UFC into your bar was a dope strategy but then you ended with the rhyme scheme Undo you, submit subdue you which felt like it was taking me in another direction. If you had chosen one or the other or had changed the wording around the results would have been menacing. As it is written the ending has such a choppy read it makes the punch less satisfying. As is i have miracle with a cleaner read.

v/miracle

W/ Hallows

Hallows chose to write a multi vs Miracles single
The first line was connected to the 2nd
He spoke directly to the opp.

Hmmmm can’t say I’m massive on either bar miracles because lady di bars have been done to death over the years especially if you’re British it’s just some weird lazy attempt at a personal that just isn’t it. No idea if jacks British or not(I don’t think he is?) which makes it even less relevant. Also Diana car isn’t really a clean flip and is a bit reachy. Jacks bar was pretty messy like too much going on and cramming too much into two lines and it was awkward to read the ure f’ed c 1-2 subdue you bit kept tripping me every time I read it. Overall the bar came across as too wordy although frank mir concept was cool I think it could’ve been executed better coz it landed a bit soft almost like an after thought rather than the punchline if you get me?

I’m finding this difficult to pick a winner really but I suppose miracles was cleaner and a less awkward read even if I did think the concept fell flat and the flip is a reach as it is. jacks bar was too trippy and lacked any form of sting for me

V/mir

Mir wins