Rules and Regulations
Please note the due times in the rules. Be on time, and as always, good luck!
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Rules and Regulations
Please note the due times in the rules. Be on time, and as always, good luck!
hello
olleh
edit: no problem bud
Ode to a Great Man
friends, brothers and sisters, lend me your ears!
I've come to bury our leader in every sentence you hear
don't mistake this as praises for an emperor feared
and listen closely to this ode as we remember his years...
looking back, the origin of his descendants is clear
you'll find his lineage on street corners in stenciled veneer
but his parents were an embarrassment he barely mentioned to his peers
a reputation that plagued him until the end of his career
his mother was a partier, he lacked the center to hear her
because his father was as faceless as a bend in the mirror
this would eventually steer him to a hunger for winning
a forlorn sentient rearing from his humble beginning
victim to his mother's decisions he briefly joined the party scene
but grew from under her prison -- he chose to own his hardened gleam
snug in covered ambition, he felt a void he'd hardly seen
and with a slumbering vision he awoke in a martyr's dream
sick of the heartless schemes that left him bruised and wary
he unearthed the fatherless poverty he ardently used to bury
in this maze of cowards and pawns who forget the truth they carry
he'd gain his power by conquest as a revolutionary
he refused to be denied of his masterful plan
so he grew in leaps and strides with each battle he had
at first he was ignored as a flash in the pan;
just a servant with a sword - another vanishing fad
he knew he had to expand, but he couldn't make one mistake
so he tore the robes of his modesty to prove he was done with fate
his cockiness promoted his odyssey to move from a humble stage
but ironically he gained velocity once he pumped The Breaks
he found a voice heard beyond his immediate community
now he'd preach a lesson to the people he was influencing
it wasn't peace and unity - he spoke of streets paved with tension
and when he released The Message, the whole nation paid attention
anyone who gave a listen wound up talking for hours
bout how he Bumrushed the Show and, Fought the Power
but he was stunningly cunning when he chose to make his mark,
and went through older institutions to show us which Way to Walk
his inflated stock marched him to the edge of his ebb and flow
in a rhythmic food for thought that was casually edible
but with his conquest still in progress he felt the angst of his pedestal
and thus disjointedly appointed several gangstas as generals
he sprang them from Death Row, believing they'd have poise
but the good men he fought for became apostles of Bad Boys
they broke unfathomable silences, flaunting diamond and gold muzzles
until they killed each other off in petty, bitter control struggles
despite their violent ends, he still anointed their heads
but soon came generals bent on self-appointment instead
preaching meaningless messages, pointless to spread
and even his oldest soldiers who were loyal had fled
the voice that had led them spewed the most caustic of sermons
they emulated his achievements but forgot why he earned 'em
with manufactured smiles and open arms they casually courted him
till they bit the hand that fed - and stabbed the back that supported them...
it's perfectly known - a man's evil lives long after he's served on the throne
whereas the good he's done is often left interred in his bones
but it's worthless to moan, or sing songs for his end
cuz most of you believe his killers are honorable men
you were the greatest man I knew, never will I forget you
to those whose ears hold the dagger, I hope you heard him mumble "et tu?"
his nation is a tomb now, a demarcation of his tragedy
but my heart is in the coffin there with Hip-Hop --
and I will lie there until it comes back to me
Mirror Image
by Token
Blurred visions reflect reality, as masquerades slowly fade
my woes evade my mind as I struggle for signs of showing faith
i'm blinded and so afraid to face the problems my life's engraved
explosions of emotions release, as I start throwing mental grenades
flying debris of memories scatter, my mind starts to sharpen apart
and casting shadows of smiles over my issues only darkens my heart
it's only a matter of time before realization breaks down my walls
as I shake & recall all of the abuse and aches, i'm appauled
never been the type to vent, always stayed strong for others
never needed to talk for comfort, no matter how long I suffered
smothered by will, my sadness would serve a tame tune
while a great depression would form inside me until a hurricane grew
filled with anguish and rage, while unsolved mysteries cooked
erasing bad experiences as I rip out pages of my history book
misery's hooked to my thoughts, my disguises are wearing thin
staring into space to escape where i've been until meteors start tearing in
The Edge
I've fallen victim of social withdrawal, snapping at people attackingly
so I grit my teeth with wisdom, but the crowds keep impacting me
black clouds still follow me everywhere I go, negativity trails
I attempt to rewrite my past but fall fast as relativity fails
I've led a riveting tale of a man hiding anxiety
in spite of me creating a persona of happiness inside of me
i've got a hard head made of rock, limiting memories in sections
but God gave me a heart of clay, and my past has left lasting impressions
the pain has finally caught up to me, as I analyze it in depth
my eyes fill with surprise at the size of it's effect
withdrawn from the world, I just want things to be all better
but I've pushed my feelings to the side so my focus is off centered
clinching my eyelids closed as tears form at the corners
I close my umbrella and embrace all of my storms at the borders
As I Contemplate
Flashbacks of my stepfather screaming, as my fears of a beating gathered
which explains why I can't fall asleep until 5 am or change my sleeping pattern
images of my brother handcuffed to drugs, tearing my family apart
now everytime I look at his forearms I have a hard time handling the marks
watching him scam people for money, to feed his addiction
having to hide my wallet and my keys because the fiend's on a mission
my mother never turned her back though, always kept hope in her heart
and needles never bothered me until I saw him overdosed in her arms
God blessed him with a second chance, the judge reviewed the facts
after months of rehab he was straight, but he was due to relapse
switching from narcotics to alcohol, it was an eye for an eye
even though he swears i'm his enemy, I would literally die for the guy
he was my hero since I was little, my big brother nine years older
but the alcohol hinders his ears to things that he might hear sober
I like to hope that things'll shange, but physical altercations break out
as he abuses the loved ones around me it only creates doubt
http://i53.tinypic.com/x3b8yx.png
Eyes swollen from crying, my cheeks wet from the rain
I'm forced to dismiss my reality and get numb to the pain
I have a newborn son to raise, so my sharing is done
but it's tough enduring problems of an adult at the age of twenty one
I keep my stress under the hood, even though it's growing bigger
my state of mind is a gun & the photographs control the trigger
Oatmeal, let me get this right. This is an ode to a 'man' but were you talking about hip-hop metaphorically? Or Notorious Big? Those are the two ideas i got. Either is creative unless i am wrong...and if i am wrong....then God bless you for being more creative than i. The rhyme scheme was rather spontanious (spelling?) so it was ill most of the time but very unpredictable and all over the place. The wording was real well put and i could imagine you performing this after seeing your video. Lol. So i tried reading this the way you performed the one. Pauses and all. I think this is your best. The first piece this season to make me 'woah' outloud. And one of the best this season.
Token, this was also real dope. At first i thought the ending was predictable. But after thinking about it. You put the pieces in three catagories and then the end tied it all together. Really well done ending too. Most writers rush the end just to get the point across but this was a really clean transition. The rhyme scheme and flow was ill. Reminds me of myself and Brandon. The wording was pretty well put together. Nothing really seemed dragged on or outta place. Possibly the best i read from you. Even like this as much as My Brother's Kidnapping emotionally. Mentioning your kid and brotger issues was deep bro.
Both came better than they ever have. These were the two best pieces i have read this season. At first, it was really hard to decide on a winner. But as i thought about both peices. Their differences. Relating myself to each. Comparing similarities. i have to give this to Token for personal preference. Most def nomming this for Legends.
Vote Token.
Oats, I know that you know that Hip-Hop being portrayed as a person is not as creative or original as some may think - (Common's portrayal of "SHE" as "HIP HOP" was so fucking classic) - but it's not about the concept here for me, it's about the actual writing and the schemes you chose to hand to us for this particular idea Oats. I was digging this from the very beginning, you went on some rather imaginary lines in terms of the personality of the "character" in this drop, but above anything else, you just had that slick flow and it made the read super fluid in the end. Conceptually, I can't fault you cause honestly, a lot of shit has been done before and it will continue to be done, it's never about the concept in the grand scheme of things and the rest of this piece kicked ass, you did a hell of a job this week and after reading this, I'm certain my Power Ranking of you has been realized - win or lose, you've done a dope job...it'll be tough for Token to top this, props my dude.
Token, you have an unusual knack for making me feel like I write your pieces sometimes, it's nothing in a negative way of course, it's that I always feel you've got this wording that only fits a certain mindset, which is obviously your own, but I can still always feel the emotion and the vibe of the piece through the lines. You did a great job being personal this week, it's always nice to vent sometimes when you're going through a rough patch, shit...even if you're not, it's just nice to talk about and get it out in the open, you captured the essence of the emotion this week, the images were strong and even with a few lines needing a few word choices to be changed, the overall concept and piece was just great. I can't find much fault with this and the word changes mentioned above are only just minor details I would personally change, so you're alright on that. Props on this verse as well.
v/Token, neither of you should get a loss, I may consider the Legends nod...but definitely going in SS Hall of Woot (no medal lol)
well damn...
this is porbably one of the few tough decisions matches i've come across...
Oatmeal never ceases to amaze me with his wordplay and content...concept was great...consistency was key to his piece and i felt like it made it a very worthwhile read...
Token on the other hand, had some great work as well...consistent story, using various topics although i felt the picture didn't really go with his piece...Toekn approached the topic well with a story the unfolded better towards the end that threw the lil "oh shit" that comes across a readers mind once the clues come together.
but overall..i'll have to take OATMEAL for the win with an overall better drop, structured better and a more drawing and entertaining piece.
- great opener from OATMEALQuote:
friends, brothers and sisters, lend me your ears!
I've come to bury our leader in every sentence you hear
don't mistake this as praises for an emperor feared
and listen closely to this ode as we remember his years...
looking back, the origin of his descendants is clear
you'll find his lineage on street corners in stenciled veneer
but his parents were an embarrassment he barely mentioned to his peers
a reputation that plagued him until the end of his career
his mother was a partier, he lacked the center to hear her
because his father was as faceless as a bend in the mirror
this would eventually steer him to a hunger for winning
a forlorn sentient rearing from his humble beginning
- TOKEN i believe this was the BEST potion of your entire piece, great flow, imagery. content was KABOOM!Quote:
Flashbacks of my stepfather screaming, as my fears of a beating gathered
which explains why I can't fall asleep until 5 am or change my sleeping pattern
images of my brother handcuffed to drugs, tearing my family apart
now everytime I look at his forearms I have a hard time handling the marks
watching him scam people for money, to feed his addiction
having to hide my wallet and my keys because the fiend's on a mission
Definitely a great championship match, hands down both did a great job.
Oatmeal, I have not seen any of your previous work but this makes me want to do a little research. You're scheme and delivery were intriguing. The strongest part of your piece in my opinion was your beginning.
Token, you're talent has definitely evolved since the earlier days of RB. Like oatmeal, you're piece intrigued me from the beginning. This is probably one, if not the best piece I have ever read from you.Quote:
Originally Posted by oatmeal
This part caught my attention as, at one point in time, i'm sure everybody has had this feeling.Quote:
Originally Posted by Token
The way you finished, had me eager for more.
No question about it, this is one of, if not the best SS battle I have read in a long time. As far as a winner, there can only be one, but damn this was close. I feel Token may have just edged it out by a hair, I just felt more attracted to his piece and I could not get enough of it. I honestly wish there was a continued portion to it... Oatmeal, you are for sure one that I will be looking out for in future rounds.Quote:
Originally Posted by Token
Vote - Token
Oats: As I read I wondered where you were going with it and I have to say I'm impressed with the concept, although it has been done before I don't think I'd have looked at "an ode to man" and thought of something this good.. so firstly props on that.. plus you put your own flip on it so it's w/e.. The rhyming was pretty solid through out, sometimes you would make minor rhyme changes which made the flow switch over smoothly but also kinda confused me and I got lost and had to read a few lines twice.. but that could just be me being retarded. This is definitely one of the doper drops I've seen from you and you've really put up a top notch verse which is good to see in the champ match.
Tokes: Well.. I have to say this is your most impressive drop yet. For a played concept your really put your own flip/twist on it and it worked, the emotion was there too and you could really feel it while reading through so props man.. Multies and rhyme schemes were on point basically the whole time, a few lines you did leave out multies, but that's better than forcing words in.. ummm yeah I'm very impressed good job.
.
.
Although I think both verses would have won against 90% of anyone atleast in SS I have to give it to Token, I was just feeling the realness of the drop, oats was on some real shit too but tokens emotion edged it out cause yall were neck n neck for rhyming & vocab.. and I thought your concepts were as good as each other.. no hate oats thought you did great here man. dope battle peace
v - TOKEN
Oats - I loved where this was going. It was a very creative approach towards the topic and I think you really executed your concept well. I wasn't knowing what to expect from reading the title but you definitely surprised me with your verse. And not to mention, the rhyme scheme and flow was steady and was great. I really thought this verse could have gotten you the win here.
Token - Last week you dropped a really dope piece and I was really hoping you'd do the same this week and you did just that. What I really liked about this piece though was the execution and expression of the emotion, that really got the point across. As for the rhyme scheme and flow that was great. I've got to say this verse is one helluva verse and I'm very pleased to have read it.
I thought Oat would have pulled this one after reading his verse but Token just got in there and produced a very polished verse that I thought was slightly more of a better read. It's a very close one though.
v/ Token
Great match gentlemen.
Token wins (9-1)
Oats loses (6-3)
CLOSED