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Impasse
Life and I were at an Impasse,
Dueling over the proper way to make this sacred thing last
You see...
The bond we share is the stuff of fame.
I rush to claim my Love my Flame
But in storybook fashion, Life doubles as Tormentor & Bane
Consuming joy but nursing pain. Why must we play this game in the Devil’s vain?
Answers I beseech,
Until Fury unfurls to fevers peak
Haven’t I given enough? I ask Life the Leech
This parasitic curse with which I was bequeathed
Life bellowed back sweeping firm ground from beneath me,
“HAVE YOU TRULY GIVEN YOUR ALL TO ME?!”
...Her Catapult words mark Gibraltar’s fall -defenses stall...
I haven’t an excuse to give or an aide to call...
Had I truly begun to live imprisoned by lack of passion?
...That’s Death to a wiseman if you were to ask him...
Did Life try to teach me only to receive apathy as a reaction?
I mull over words. Accepting the hurt that is fact
I had once turned back towards existence
Forsaking what was sacred without plea or repentance
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Re: Impasse
Strong first verse. Don't capitalize "impasse". Don't use ellipses after "you see".
Ending isn't particularly creative.
You personify life, and that is interesting. The dialogic form is cool too.
Good work. Feed something around here.
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Re: Impasse
Good verse. I enjoyed the strong feel you had with this piece. Was written properly and accordingly, with your conjuction and stature. Nothing really to fault on this, piece. Had all the essentials, and was written' well. Nice one, man. Liked the contrast you had with everything, nice.