Tongue Elixir

A little keystyle poem i did cause im feelin emotions, feedback please...

the block tale begins with burnt store owners leaking from niggas claimin they men~
pourin forties in cups i begin slayin a ten searchin for fame through my pen~
sprayin through dented friends turned crooked by the pussy prize ink emits from the g-lock~
real and dealin in the gift called present i extend rap heaven wit eternal street hop~
my 2nd home stays raided often prayin i soften watchin my phony homie laid in coffin~
a black man caught by klansmen couldnt hang wit me between the paper's margins~
i..utter my ill awful words fly by gutters with chilling thoughtful verbs~
exit the enigma of life by an annoying slug and now my life and deaths perturbed~
dirty ink floods reality my heart filled with malice, g's~
as they explore this existence i feel the need to deny truth emphatically~
no need to ride wit a rebel with lost causes seepin his dome~
my words over weeded this poem releases my peace like a chrome~
the streets is my home but six deep awaits me as my dreams hit~
i dont mean shit i spit blind and rap about death cause with a pen i seen it~

1luv.

elevation is key, holla back if any feedback could be given 1luv.

elevatin.....comon just drop some thoughts, i appreciate it, 1luv.

i liked tha shit,it was hot, good multis,i dig ya style,i think youd be real tight in open mic but thats my opinion,keep on droppin kid,~1~

thanks man, and nah i can drop open mics but my raps is a little bit edgier and easy flowing then my poetry i prefer the depth of my poems, any more feedback??? 1luv.

Didnt Seem Like A Keystyle...
Talent-wise..Off The Hook...


my 2nd home stays raided often prayin i soften watchin my phony homie laid in coffin~
a black man caught by klansmen couldnt hang wit me between the paper's margins~

~Nyce Flow To It..Reminiscent Of Nas~

Nice Flow Altogether And Good "Keystyle"

Peace

thanks and yeh t was entirely a keystyle it took m aprox. 6 minutes to do, and im really feelin Nas' style he'smy biggest musical influence, surprised that u saw a comparison, thanks for your comments, elevation is key, 1luv.

i really liked tha last two lines!
keep droppin~la8 5gs im out!
~Pz

^thanks mama i appreciate the feedback 1luv.

Nice Pieace G...U Got Skill Man...Tight Multis..Dope Verse..Keep Doin' Ya Thang...1

good look X i respect your opinion thanks alot man, 1luv.